Hey I am new here. I need some advice. I don't know what to do and I'm feeling hopeless. 2 years ago my mother and my father passed. They were my best friends my everything! My dad was having mental Heath problems we kept trying to get him help. I think he may had schizophrenia. He was hearing things parinod. He started making suicide threats which was total out of the norm for him. We got him to the hospital to be evaluated and in the middle of the night he left. The next day I walked in their home and found them dead my dad had shot my mom in the head and himself. I went into shock I have lived in hell the past two years. A month before all this I went to the gym and worked out all the time. I hurt my back and after an MRI found out two of my disc were herniated I couldn't walk and was in extreme pain. Drs just keep me on meds and rehibilitaion trying to fix the problem cause I didn't want to have back surgery. The I woke up to this nightmare. I have tried so many time to stop the pain meds. My depression and anxiety is so bad. I was diagnosed with PTSD. I realize I am addicted to these pills and have also used them as a crutch to make me cope with this nightmare. I really have no other family and I'm raising two kids on my own. I had to keep going to keep my job and health insurance. I don't even know who I am anymore! This isn't me! I want my life back. I want to stop! I want to feel normal again! I don't know where to start! Please tell me how and what I need to do. Pleas tell me how to get my life back and find peace hope and happiness. Thank you!