My mother called yesterday to ask about my gramma in a nursing hiome. She has dementia but also bipolar with psychotic features. So, my mother wants to talk to parnter because she is a doctor about a med. Shes afraid it "will make a zombie" out of her. They stopped her meds 7 years ago because they are ignorant and crazy. so i say- whats the med? well, ive been on the med for 8 years and told her all about it. She as, ALL MY LIFE dismissed my opinion of any value. Further moere, my partner the doctor, DID call her back today and repeated everything i said to my mother. I have been treated for my multiple dioagnosis fo 24 years now, I KNOW MEDS. I could tell by both conversatuions they will not give me Gramma in the nursing home the medication she needs. And she will suffer as she has. Part of the reason i left town is was i could deal with my abusive, passive agressive denial ridden family anymore. I am crazy (or what?) to them and nothing i say matters. I am no longer taking any calls as i hadnt for months, My mother hooked me in with the voicemail- its mom- calling about Gramma". I love my gram and she saved my life as a kid in so many ways- she taught me what love was.
I am sorry this is so long. the way i feel right now..I know this sounds terrible:.my anger will never be completely resolved until the woman is dead.
I have gone thru 20 years of therapy the whole forgivesness route the twelve step route, the trite sayings "she did the best she could". Its all crap when serious PTSD related to my family triggers core issues. I am talking, venting , getting feedback to gert thru.
Thanks for listening to me vent.