trying to not let my mind ruin it. it's hard though. i don't understand this constant change of mind sets. i really don't. last night i SERIOUSLY thought i was DYING. my heart and pulse starting just beating so hard to where like my heart HURT and my chest,and my head started hurting and i was really dizzy.everything almost felt like…not..real.it was a panic attack, i'm pretty sure…right?. came out of noooo where. seriously. and i have had 2 so far this morning. what is going on? i honestly didn't know they could happen for no reason. i was just sitting there watching a movie. i can't even fatham to you how scared i was.i couldn't breath. i was about to call my mom and tell her because i thought like..my heart and shit was just giving out or something. my head got all prickly and numb, as well as my body. i looked it up i actually just typed in what i was expereincing to make sure that nothing scary popped up. and panic attacks just kept popping up.i know i have felt this way before, and everytime i just thought like..oh god somethings wrong with me or something. i am pretty sure its what it was. i cant even convey to you guys..i mean i know i'm sure a lot of you expereince this but as for me im just discovering what it could be. everytime i've felt this way i seriously just thought there was something wrong with my heart or something. its so weird.. and you know what each time that im like going..oh god am i dying? because its what it feels like. my after thought would be..no….i dont want to die. weird huh. i always want to die, i dont think i really want to..a lot of the times its just my mind and i get mad that its thinking that way.if that makes sense..i dont know.. but 3 of those in such a short period of time. its really scary. and i'm pretty drained. : give me some feedback as to what you think please..anyway. hope everyone is having a good day. my days better then yesterday so far. my head doesn't feel so crazy.i hope it lasts a while.and i hope what ever it is that keeps happening to me. stops.what ever it is..