Haven't had anxiety for a while, but the other night, I had a horrible dream. I woke up in a cold sweat. Heart was pounding… I sat up in bed, and told my boyfriend I was having anxiety. I got up from bed…walked into the living room and turned on the light. As I sat on the couch, I tried so hard to not let the anxiety creep into panic. But it did. My heart started to pound more, heart pounded in my ears. Every negative thought rushed through my mind. I have had a gazillion panic attacks, but everytime I experience one, feels like the first time. It sucks. I get so tired of this… As soon as I was able to slowly calm myself, the panic tried to creep up again. It finally subsided about half an hour… but we all know what panic feels like..felt like it lasted for hours!! I think the worst thing about panic disorder, is the fear of having another one. Last night when I went to bed, I laid there with my eyes wide open..fear of having one. But I started to state the alphabet slowly, letter by letter..then tried to say it backwards in my mind.. I was finally able to sleep. Always feels great to talk about my panic..especially on here, because I know there's many people out there that know what it's like… I just have to keep thinking that. I wish panic and anxiety could leave us all… but it feels good to know, that I am not the only one.. because when you go through a panic attack, all you can picture in your mind when you have those negative thoughts…is, you think you're the only one out there that's going crazy.

The panic attacks I have, is I have these thoughts where I am going to die. And that I am going crazy.. like I am going to be sucked out of this life. Ugh, I am going to have a good time tonight, and I am not going to let panic bring me down. Thank you for reading.


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