:single fuck::single fuck:I am so tired of being sad all the time. It used to be like everyday was a funeral. I don’t want to be stuck on medications for the rest of my fucking life. My grandma tells me I will probably have to take them until I die. I wish I wasn’t born into my family because I feel like there is no point in trying I am always going to fail. I tried getting a job but it was too much stress for me to deal with. I was hateful and rude to all of the employees there even the managers. There was one manager I used to be really intimidated by but towards the end she didn’t intimidate me and I wasn’t scared of her anymore.I wasn’t always this way, honestly. I used to be happy. I used to enjoy talking on the phone, having friends, going out on the weekends. I even used to enjoy school. But all of that is over now. I dropped out of school because I thought I could pass the ged test but I couldn’t even take that because I didn’t have my id with me.None of my old friends want to talk to me anymore. I am so miserable all the time and I hardly talk to anyone. I would rather sit at home and eat all the time and play video games, which is not the healthiest thing to do but oh well. I am tired of feeling like everybody’s judging me. I am tired of feeling like I always have to please someone. People don’t understand why I am the way I am. It just feels like my whole life has been a lie. I used to think my friends really liked me but I found out they never did. I have always let people push me around and I am tired of it. I have thought about killing myself about a hundred+ times but never worked up the courage too. I just keep thinking that maybe someday there will be an answer to all of my problems and I will find the right person I can tell everything to. There has only been one person like that in my entire life, and that was my grandma but she passed away and I really miss her. She really liked me and she would always tell me how pretty and what a nice person she thought I was which made me feel good although I didn’t believe it. Well that is all I am writing for now. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling everyone this but oh well. read it if you want.:sad::em0900: