Sent to me by another Recovering Addict. hope you get what i did out of it.
NA hugs, JJ
Hi, and welcome to your trip.
My name is _____ and I’ll be one of your guides. First of all, I want to thank you for asking me to join you in your journey. My own led me to question my sanity, the existence of god, hate the universe, everyone and everything in it and made me consider relapse and even suicide. I hope yours is as successful.
Our destination is a place of happiness, joy and freedom called Serenity. It’s a place that doesn’t actually exist now because it gets created by each recovering addict as they travel down the road to recovery. That means not only do we not know what it’s going to look like but there’s no map either because the territory we have to cross to get there is the deepest, darkest parts of you. Places nobody has ever been before and no one in their right mind would want to go which makes you the perfect person to make
the trip. Actually, you’re the only person who can make the trip.
You probably didn’t volunteer for this and may actually have thought you were on your way somewhere else but if you ended up here there’s really only one way out – through the highest and lowest areas of your body, mind and spirit. A lot of people like to engage in various forms of whining, sniveling and other expressions of wretched self-pity when they find this out. Feel free. It’s a complete waste of time but I can wait while you get it out of your system. It’s better to do it now so it won’t dilute the confusion
and existential panic that comes if you make it far enough.
I’m a guide not a porter which means for the hardest parts of your journey, you’ll be on your own. Hopefully by then you will have developed some conscious contact with a (HP) because, without the endless supply of spiritual energy your HP will provide, you won’t make it. The way will be littered with the remains of those who try to make it across the slippery, narrow trails over which you will pass without the spiritual balance provided by an HP. These will either be empty husks that used to contain
people or zombies masquerading as guides, stumbling around muttering rationalizations and opinions while trying to get others to follow them. They’re easily recognizable because they’re the ones with their heads up their asses and so have to shout loudly and emphatically to be heard.
Zombies tell you things you want to hear so you’ll keep listening. They’re not actually interested in helping you on your way. Having their heads up their butt’s means they have a dark, shitty point of view and all they can see is themselves. The best guides make you feel like you are sitting quietly beside a deep pool of calm water when you come near them but they say things like ‘Keep It Simple’ that will confuse you utterly at first. Sometimes all that is left of your predecessors is a weird, chilly vibe that makes you want to look behind you. Sometimes there is just a shadow.
A memory of a memory. Many recovering addicts start their journey off with great fanfare by cheering throngs only to disappear without a trace. They started with pure intentions but were lured off the path by money, sex, fame, power or social standing. These are only some of the many distractions that can lead you off the trail. It will take more courage and determination than you knew you had to stay on your path.
Along the way you may get angry with me, blame me for some horrible thing I said or did (or, if you’re really desperate to take the focus off yourself and/or find an excuse to quit/relapse, something I didn’t do/say). I felt the same way about my guides. Usually, the ones I was the angriest with were only showing me my most important truths. While you are an interesting and beautiful person
whom I would be lucky to count among my friends, my role as a guide must come first so, if I’m not regularly pissing you off and pointing you at deeply disturbing points of interest along the way I would not be doing my job. Also, I’m still on my journey. Our HP’s put us together because we have things to teach each other. If the price of your recovery is that you (hopefully temporarily) think less of me I’ll gladly pay it.
We both know what a chicken shit you really are and know you would never consider making the trip unless others had gone before you. I was the same way. Even the first N.A. voyagers had the example of the A.A.’s to light their way. I can only marvel at (and thank HP for) those who blazed the first recovery trails. I’ve only made it this far because those who came before me held up
mirrors made from their own insights to show me the way.
I hope your journey is successful.