I'm the only recovering addict in my family, the rest are active in their addiction. All I'm focused on is me & my recovery, bottomline. I've disassociated w all my so called friends. I kept no one in my life who uses w/ the exception of my mother & sister. This is solely due to the reason that I don't have a car n I need their help getting to the methadone clinic 6 days a week. I've been dealing with this n having to put up wit their crazy ass nonsense for 6 months now, as my recovery is on the line. I kno the disease, I kno that developmentally, they're teenagers n lack common sense. They also have untreated mental illnesses, are master manipulators, completely self centered & pathological liars. Obviously theres no loyalty n certainly never a unity with the 3 of us, cuz of their issues. I have n tried to help them both in every way, shape n form. I'm past the point of being beyond ready to wipe my hands clean of them, but I'm stuck between a junkie & a junkie. Last week they got into a screaming match n to spite sister, mother gave excuses daily, leaving sister no choice in being my means of getting to the clinic all but one day. Last night sister broke out the drama w all her theatrics, making her ten year old daughter to do the dirty work. Sister is queen of making a mountain out off a molehill. The situation was soo miniscule & uncalled for (a single mop pad) that it's disgustingly pathetic. They both constantly forget that I'm no longer high n constantly have a clear head & solid memory. When either break out the theatrics, I won't indulge them n when they don't get what they irrationally demand, the spite & vindictiveness surfaces immediately. Just when it seemed they were calming down from their last screaming match, I had my schedule back as far as my rides. Sister made her next spiteful move, screwing me for a ride this morn, with a triple lie. Which we easily caught her in. Not only am I sick n tired of dealing with the bs n childish games or the shit talking behind my back when they are buddy buddy. I don't need my recovery affected by”family” that supposedly “supports” me. I don't want addicts in my life. I don't want the anxiety that comes when I'm stressing over transportation to get my medication. I'm sick of being pulled into drama. They're both well aware that I can be too fragile to even deal wit any of that shit. I don't kno how much longer I can continue to be the bigger person, to keep my mouth shut n not let everything I've been bottling up, explode. My counselors & therapist all remind me to do what I can to keep my distance to keep my rides. What do I do when they're delusional n will send unsolicited texts? I'm stuck between a rock & a hard place, tween a spiteful junkie & a spiteful junkie…sigh…
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Trying to live life on life's terms
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, Addiction, 0
Dear Tribe family and friends, as you know i celebrated 21 years clean last sunday. it was a great...
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What a day to be clean!
above_the_habit, , Addiction, Addiction, Medication, Therapy, 1
Well first of all I wanna say thank you to the comments I recieved in my blog and guestbook....
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Re-run from May of 2010
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, Anxiety, 0
WE USED TO GET THE RESULTS – WE NOW GET FROM NOTUSING We used: to know a new freedom...
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Med…itation…
michaelcali, , Addiction, Addiction, 0
Good Morning…A couple of days ago I had my BP meds changed, I am finding this rather uncomfortable especially...
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Another version for your sponsor
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, Anger, Child, Medication, Therapist, 0
1. A good sponsor isn't all that interested in the "reasons" you used. 2. A therapist thinks your root...
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Daily Meditations
Desire2bClean, , Addiction, Anger, Forgiveness, 0
09/19/2007 Meditation for the Day Would it be easier to forgive others if we had a sense that God...
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Sexist Comments
darktwistygal, , Addiction, Anxiety, Marriage & Family, Teens, Anger, Career, Child, Relationships, 2
This has been a very stressful week. I don’t remember how it started at the moment, but what happened...
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Money Money Money………………….
KizzyT31, , Addiction, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Therapist, Therapy, 1
Money…why is it always a mother fucking issue in like 99% of people's lives, you either havent enough or...
I can imagine how hard it is to be the only recovering addict. Sending positve thoughts to you. What are you recovering from?
20yrs of partying with almost anything. Sent info to u ur inbox.