Its been a difficult year..i think i'll let the poem say the rest…please comment and tell me what you think….? would love to hear from you <3

Mum

I long to tell you everything

but my barrier stops me

So I cover it up with a lie

No matter how hard I try

it's more than being brave

it's something I crave

it's like a secret deep inside,

it's something I must do

the voice inside my head tells me to

You visited me in hospital that time.

I heard you calling.

My heart sank with fear

I didn't want you to see me in here

In this state

So full of all this hate

I never wanted you to blame yourself

I just wanted you to love me,

To hug me tightly,

To catch me when I fall.

Mother you are my all.

I want to be good, i want to be pure

For this life I endure

Its sad there's no magic cure.

Typing each and every letter

Trying to imagine things getting better

I Try To Obey What The Doctors Say

I Want To Stop Feeling This Way

I saw my doctor the other day

she had something important to say

This problem in my head

Could one day leave me dead.

I'm worried one day it will be too late

Maybe it was deemed to be fate