HI Tribe! My insides are seeming calmer lately, that medicine really seems to clear my head. I could really do better on a higher dose, but there have been heart problems in some people on my medicine so getting it at all was a giant hassle.
My animals are so much more comfortable now that the fleas are gone. Even the two that were full of scabs like me from being allergic to the bites, they are even soft now, nearly all thebumps are gone. I think they appreciate ittoo, or so it seems. They hangout with me constantly and EVERYONE sleeps with me. That part gets a littlecrowded, but everyone sleeps, or at least rests,with no one scratchingor biting. Seems likesomething one would take forgranted but it's really quite beautiful,to watch resting animals. I still don't sleep a lot, but the nightmares have subsided, for now.
The last one was so gruesome and so vivid, it took a few days to come down from thatthe first couple times I had it.
I remember when I first got a dream/nightmare interpretation, it was so obvious I was flabbergasted that I hadn't realized it myself. I had drowning nightmares, and the batterer and father of my daughter runs off the road into a lake or river, and myself and infant daughter are in the backseat, so I break the window and grab my daughter out of her car seat and push off toward the surface, while he is still down there,because he can't swim, and I am a very strong swimmer. So I was comfortable in that environment and knew how to survive and get us out alive. Neat, huh?
This latest one hasn't been so easy to interpret. People are just standing around in fear while the mass murderer goes around snapping people's necks, gross, huh? But then he's after me specifically because I'm trying to escape, and I'm hurt so I can't really get away very fast. What the hell is that?!?!
The fun part is that my nightmares are recurring. So I get to endure them multiple times. So I think that means that it's something I have to figure out again.
Whenever life gets stressful, the nightmares and panic come again. PTSD is awesome.
I talked to the housing assistance people, I am 31st on the list to get assistance. So I'm living with hubby for a bit longer…..
My disability hearing has been postponed, it was supposed to have been on July 31, not sure what the new date will be. But the attorney who is helping me says that's good as he will have more time to get ready. So that, too, means living here that much longer.
We DID have a good day the other day. My daughter, my son, one of his friends, and I went to a Gay Pride Festival at the nearby city. There was a HUGE play scape for the boys, food, music, a dunk tank, freebies, cool stuff to buy, and a shit ton of nice people to talkto and meet. We got a rainbow flag, the boys got t-shirts and my daughter got some gay pride stuff, and saw her friends from the gay teen group she goes to. Everyone had fun and everyone was exhausted. It was a good day.
Hugs to you, Tribe. Goodnight.
I hope this is break through for you. Hugs Mary xx