Hi. I’ve tried pushing down what I thought I could manage. I used to have severe depression in high school. I lived with my siblings and my parents, one of which is an addict. I couldn’t take it anymore so after one failed suicide attempt I held on to whatever strength I had left with the thought that once I’m done with high school I could move out go to college and escape the toxicity that was my environment. I left across the country and felt even more alone because I didn’t know how to open up to anyone. So I moved again to NYC which was the best thing I’ve ever done. I blossomed there and felt the happiest I’ve ever been. After college it became too expensive to live there so I had to leave. Ever since then I’ve been trying to make my way back to NYC because that’s what I’ve been associating happiness with. That’s where I felt most myself. It’s been starting to feel farther out of reach and somewhere between then and the years that passed I have felt like I’ve been losing myself slowly and I don’t know how to get myself back. Yes, I have had some good times in between but they’re very fleeting. Now I feel like I have no one and depression has been getting worse. For people that don’t have it it just seems like I’m constantly negative and it’s frustrating for them to be around me and it’s frustrating for me because I’m drowning more and more each day. I’m just hoping I can find a community of people that understand what it’s like so I finally have some people I can talk to.
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Going ok
sadjac, , Depression, Questions, 1
I'm actually doing ok. I feel very on top of all the work I have to do for school,...
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I can''t do this….
cassie_j13, , Depression, Anxiety, Relationships, 0
I can’t do this any more…I can’t sit around and smile and pretend nothing is wrong when everywhere I...
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Black
imogen, , Depression, 0
Rolling stones- paint it black . I see a red door and I want it painted black No colors...
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Im speechless…well..sorta
Deathwish10102, , Depression, Anger, Career, Child, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
ok so i left my house to be safe right? well i have to go back there beucase i...
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Feelings
susanC, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 2
I don't know why I'm here. I just found this by chance. I'll tell you a little about myself....
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Me
Emma, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Child, Domestic Abuse, Suicide, 0
I am now 29yrs old and am finally beginning to get to know myself and come to terms with...
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Alone
Throwaway2, , Depression, Child, Depression, Relationships, Suicide, 4
I’m coming here because I feel like I need a place to air out my thoughts and emotional experiences....
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Why Can't Relationships Be Simple?
loneeddie, , Depression, Career, Child, Relationships, Stress, 0
Being my first time blogging, I can only think of it as writing in journal, with the exception that...
I’ve often wondered if moving out of my small town would help me.
i felt too confined in the area i used to live. i’m glad i did finally find the guts to leave.
Since leaving, i’ve learned a lot about myself–still learning–and have found out a lot that IS available to help. (i never knew….’cause i was ignorant.)
Anywhoo—good luck!!!! i really hope you find what works for you!!!!!