mood = okay

I am finding some peace of mind.  I am really liking the MIndfulness Therapy.  I thought I would miss seeing my regular therapist but this is opening new avenues, making me step out of my comfort zone, and keeping me busy with homework, lol.  During our 2nd session we talked about the body scans we did at home.  After I heard what everyone else was saying, I got a bit discouraged, feeling like maybe this won’t help.  The feeling lasted a short time and I accepted it.  For me, that is an improvement.  We did some standing yoga, different from the beginner yoga class I am taking, but good stretching. 

Our homework is to find things that make you feel good and bring them out so that you see them all the time.  Everyone was talking about stuff they had at home and my brain was at a loss, even though I knew I would come up with something.  I am not very sentimental when it comes to keeping things.  My husband is too anal about being neat so over the years I learned to be a bit more choosy.  I’ll list my items at the end.  More homework in doing the standing yoga, 2x a day.  I’ve decided that since I’m doing the other yoga practice, once is sufficient.  I still do the body scan daily as well.  Sometimes they are cool but sometimes I feel ike I just can’t relax.  Another homework assignment is to practice gratitude (wise selfishness) 3x a day, by letting someone know what you appreicate.  I would like to take this moment by saying that I appreciate everyone of you, friend or not, for comments, support, ideas, for reading, and just for being you.  Belonging to Dtribe has really pushed me along, and I am grateful for it.  The last part of the homework is to look at something that catches your eye, that inspires a sense of wonder, and observe it more deeply than usual.

I still have not improved the relationship with my daughter.  I know this is going to take time and that it works both ways.  Tiny baby steps, treading softly, and finding an area where we can both grow as mother and daughter.

My heart is slowly healing.  God is carrying me once again and I am so very grateful for his love and guidance.

Things are not picture perfect, of course.  I still find I am falling to my old bad habits, but for now I am accepting this and part of the road.  I believe in time this too shall pass.

Here is my list of things that give me comfort:

the bendable stuffed dalmatian I got from a friend for Christmas, "Zoey", Tom and I have soooo much fun with her.

the genuine Amethyst ring I won when working at Walgreens.  I used to win display contests and in this instance, for minimal effort, I won an awesome prize. 

the necklace Tom gave me for my 40th birthday.  I am not big into jewelry, but it’s simple and perfect.

the Polish doll Uncle Walter gave me as a gift when he came back from Poland.  She is old, cloth, dirty, but I love her and smile now as I recall her name is Mary Ann.

I will add to this list as I remember more.  I have not yet gone through my things to see what else is hiding.

I wish you a peaceful weekend.  May God shine in your life and offer hope and guidance.