The thing about being depressed is that it often comes with the symptom of not wanting to tell those who should know. People who should know about how we are feeling often prescribe answers and make it worse for us. so we simply shut up and lock ourselves away, either physically or in terms of communicating. It is partly a selfish disease, like so many are. It makes us concerned about ourselves and the pain we are in. And, it is not easy to turn that off.

Another symptom that can appear is empathy for vulnerable people and understanding of the pain of others. In this respect we are able to share more openly with others suffering from depression than we can with professionals or family members who just want us to 'get over it'.

So these two symptoms that can occur in people, are a little bit at odds with each other. One keeps us quiet and the other opens us up. It is why forums and places like this are important because we can find like minded people here and talk to them. I have caring family that I hide my symptoms from and don't tell them how hollow all of life seems when I am being afflicted.

The simplest events and tasks that used to bring interest and joy, send sheets of angst through me. I hide it and grit my teeth and carry on, not helping in the least. I come to places like this to tell it, like I did when life was at its worst for me. One such site likely saved my life back then, but it has since closed down. The contacts have dwindled away and some are no more.

Right now, life is not good but I just shut up about it. Except for this.