It’s a silent thing.

It screams so loud

In your heart..

But is a sound of such frequency,

Noone can hear but you.

It can shatter glass

And frighten animals

who are attuned to such pitches

.. It is primal.. Other worldly..

Frightening to the core..

Unbearable even to the most strong of spirit,or
The most robust to the familiarity of pain.

Grief is the most lonely place..
Lonelier than the darkest alley,

The furthest corner of the planet,
Where only ghosts and shadows dwell

Tis the place of nightmarish fever,
But in the place between sleep and wake,
Is unfortunately my new reality..

It is a thing of the night,
Eternal night..
Darkest night of the soul..
Clicheed as that might seem..

Words are clumsy..
There are no words to put to the waves of grief.

But still I will try,
Because to be human is to know the pain of loss..
And words are the language of us humans..

Stumbling and clumsily,
I try to type,
To unravel myself,
Dismantel my former self
In the prayer that somebody will read this jumble of letters,

decode them, somehow
And reach out to me in spirit..
Offer me comfort,
Or hope..
That maybe you have felt this way too, once, ..
And you will reach out your hand.. So I can feel warmth
Where inside I am so frozen, from the shock of the death of the us I once knew..

Tell me,
Not with words , but with silence,
That I will keep breathing..
That you did too,
And we can breathe together,
Wait patiently for the broken shards of shattered dreams
To mend
And form a new organ,
Fresh and ready to love…
Yet To be broken again.

  1. longhuggs41 14 years ago

    Regarding Silence, one hour ago i felt the same way! I, was feeling left out to dry, but i believe with that tone it's also underneath hatred and comes extreme anger on individuals who seem to have everthing the easy way marriage, good jobs and family vacations! Now, after reading your post, I find warm support for you because i , guess i'm a fake angry person! I've, gone through group therapy and when i read, i thought is she trying to be a poet or that's just the way you write at this period in your life! I, was going to do another post for the group, but that tattoo caught my eye and i was going to leave a polite comment sking if you did the drawing of that piece! But, my sicere thoughts came out like a volcano erupting the first time in a couple thousand years! Anyways, on a lighter notei read your likes and must say we are totally opposite on therapeutic therapy, novelists and music! I, constantly read all topics that i see and read the whole newspaper daily craving new information or discoveries from the current mars landrover mission to patricia cornwell knowing the jack the ripper sociopathic killer! But, to each is his  or her own way of coping with grief! I, read all topics to forget reallity which is my blunder because as i'm reading i'm not fixing my situation! But, I hope you find this comment as genuine thought and not a pick on you! Well, my name is ernie i was an accountant, left that field went to nursing home administration and now considering moving out of this high unemployment state in which, i live, no unions! Feel, free to leave a comment, your just not alone in that area of hell! Good Luck, by writing your stronger inside than you think!!

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  2. bluebellgirl 14 years ago

    hi huggs.. hey sorry you were feeling crap earlier.. i just write that way to purge my emotions.. i've just split up with my fiancee and im haveing a breakdown..not coping at all and really lonley.



    I didnt draw my wings.. my tattooist designed them for me.. i'm rubbish at




    am sqiffy on my night meds so i'll keep this short, but thank you for your message.. peace, bluebell x

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