I am so sick to my stomach that I threw up crying last night.  I am worried and deeply miss Gucci my daughters dog that I helped raise and got extremely attached to.  My daughter and I don't get along very well so she often uses the dog a way to hurt me.   About a week ago my daughter left for Norway to stay with some family friends.  I helped her buy the ticket forfieting my summer and had spent a week making the arrangements for her.  We don't get along and I only did this hoping that she could get a chance to be away from her abusive boyfried who lives with us too.  (yes its been a disfuntional year)  Before she left I asked her if I could take care of Gucci and I remember her saying yes!  When the boyfriend went to work he took Gucci and locked her in the car for 10 hours while I was at home and was expecting to watch her for a month.   I was so upset I confronted the boyfriend and I guess he called my daughter in NOrway and now she turned against me. I guess she had left instructions with my exhusband about the care of the dog?  She said she never gave me permission to watch her dog.  She is in NOrway threatening to kill herself because I am "ruining her life" and obsessed with her dog and better leave her boyfriend alone.   I got so mad I told the boyfriend if he didn't leave the dog here when he went to work that he would have to move out.  Well he did. Yesterday he packed up some stuff and took Gucci..  When Gucci saw him comming to get her, she ran and jumped on the couch to hide from him and growled when he picked her up.  I am so sick to think of this poor little dog having to pay the price for my daughters ASSHOLE boyfriend.  She is blind by love. He even had physically abused her before she left.  When he found out she was going to Norway he threw a cigarette lighter at her face (he claims he didn't aim it)  she had a cut above her eye and a broken blood vessel in the white of her eye.  I am so sick because even though my daughter and I don't get along, I love her so much and want a relationshiopwith her and have been trying for years.  Yes I am obsessed with her dog and she knows it and uses  a weapon.  Her dog prefers me and maybe she resents that?  I thought about calling the SPCA to report a dog in the car, but this might make it worse in the long run for Gucci.  It seems like everytime I try to advocate for the dog it gets worse and worse.  I am afraid for the dogs welfare and happiness and also for my daughter throwing her life away on this boyfriend.  I only let them move in because his mother had kicked them out and they were homeless.  I thought it would be temporary, but they couldn't find jobs and it is so expensive around here.  Now EVERYONE is upset at me.. The norweigens have her crying on their shoulders while she says I ruined her trip.  The only advise I am getting is not very emphatic.  They say , let go it is NOT your dog.  I feel shafted for buying her that ticket and helping her to emotionally abuse her dog and most of all me her mother.

Any words of wisdom?

  1. ktbothum 11 years ago

    I think you have a right to be upset because you were under the impression that you were going to watch the dog. You also have a right as a mother to be scared for your daughter with this abusive relationship she is in. It always gets to me how loved ones use our condition against us when we grow concerned about them. Your daughter ruined her own vacation by communicating poorly to you about the care of that dog. Also, you are an adult human being. You have rights and though you have a big heart, it's been stomped on by these guys. I know it may sound cruel but I'd say kick these guys out. I know you are attached to the puppy and it's a shame for an innocent animal to have to pay for the stupidity of it's owner but these people need to know that you will not be disrespected in your own house. Sometimes tough love is the best love you can give. Try to spend time with those who love and appreciate you for you. I hope everything turns out and your daughter comes around.

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  2. helpmeplease 11 years ago

     Thank you for all the responses.  Current update is that my exhusband picked up the dog from the boyfriend and the dog is now being passed around to my exhusbands wife who he doesn't live with.   AND can you believe after all this my daughter called from Norway asking if I would let her boyfriend move back in because he has no place to go?  This is so ridiculous and unbelievbable.  I miss Gucci deeply.  We have a bond.  I have always had bonds with all my pets.  The strongest bonds I 've had have been with my parrots, dogs and horses.  When I advocate that Gucci is getting stressed and prefers to be with me,  I only hear  "It is just a dog!"  "It lived didn't it"  "The window was cracked"  I am still upset. My 23 year old daughter is the type that will hold a grudge for years and years even if she is wrong.  I have tried for years to go to counseloring with her.  I said she could pick the counselor. She just started taking Cymbalta and I think Levetrin?Maybe this is making her more aggressive.  I think her boyfriend gets off at this.  She is 7000 miles away and the fact that she is not enjoying her trip is a plus for him as she is very beautiful and attracts alot of attention?  He could have solved this and had a place to stay if he would have talked to me as an adult instead of behind a closed door.  I honestly don't think he really enjoyed taking a dog with that extra responsibility?  He was following orders from Norway.  My son said that there should have been no phone contact when she left, she really needed this trip to be away not to fixate on what was happening with her boyfriend.  Every one I have told this story to has rolled their eyes back, it is just so STUPID.  I have to be strong and not let this boy back in my house, as for Gucci, I hope and pray she will be safe and loved, AND my daughter will get some help!

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