Yesterday I sat at the car dealer for nearly 6 hours for tires, an alignment, and then a couple parts they found that were bad. After a couple hours they came and told me it would be a bit longer, the mechanic accidently put on the wrong tires, and that they could only find three of the ones they had sold me. At one point I saw my mechanic walk by so I caught up with him to ask him about the car. I told him what had happened (my daughter going off the cliff and being towed out sideways), but he assured, and showed me the parts that were worn and being replaced, and the alignment problems, and was certain that none of it was caused by the accident. He said the shaking was probably because the seal had broken on one tire, and only one was losing air and therefore riding much differently than the others. WHAT A RELIEF! So my husband CAN'T blame my daughter. That feels so good.

I found a 'livingroom' of sorts in a corner, a couple overstuffed chairs and a tv, that was cool. I hid there most of the time with my books. I was weepy yesterday, like, just sad. But I was alone for most of the time, andaftera bit the weepiness kind of went away. So by afternoon when our new snowstormwas rolling in and peoplewould come byto see the TV, I wasn't teary anymore. That was a relief, too.

Today is a snow day, kids are home with me.These are good days, just me and my kids. If I can get this migraine to lighten up, I might just take them out somewhere for a treat. It's still a snowstorm outside, but the plows started up at 4:30 this morning and they usually keep the main roads in good shape. Plus, we wouldn't go too far.There's a place with pop and movie rentals like 5 blocks away. We'll see…the storm is not due to let up until later in the day so I guess we wait…

My husband hardly spoke at all last night, to any of us. I had called him during the day, from the car place to ask about getting the extra parts, I suppose he was in a crappy mood about the money. So I didn't get to tell him it wasn't Bridget's fault. Or that I had a bad day too, I suppose he wouldn't care anyway. I don't think I could survive if all there was to worry or think about was blame and money. No love? No concern about the other stuff? I don't get it. There's just so much more. homework, bullies, new music, the pets, the growing feet, the growing HEIGHT!, the new pimple, the coming spring, so many other feelings and just, things.

Maybe he was meant to be a politician, they like blame and money. I see they've let some important date slip by and now some more regular people are going to suffer for it. Nice. Lovely addition to the giant number of people already in dire straights. Apparently hunger and homelessness are hilarious in Washington. It's a wonder the entire country isn't on this site.

Wierd how I oscilate between sadness and anger.

I'm gonna go make muffins or cookies for my kids. They are the ones who have it right: Share. Be nice, because nice matters. Hug. Love animals. Be kind. Greed is bad. Bullying is bad. Music is food for your soul. Food is best when shared. Laughter is medicine. Take care of those who hurt.Say please and thank you. Stickup for the underdog.

What happens between these things my kids live by, and being the average 'grown up' who doesn't even know these things?





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