I'm new to this site, and this is my second blog.

My anxiety is mainly based on health issues. Also, I have a problem with all means of travel – cars, motorcycles, airplanes, trains, etc. due to the fear of accidents. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression in 2005 after the death of a coworker (that's what I believed sparked it all).

I am a new mother, my daughter was born back in August and 2 days after she was born, my mother died unexpectedly. We found out from an autopsy that she had arteriosclerotic disease and she had been in congestive heart failure. Two weeks after my mother's passing, my grandmother also passed away. She was 90 and basically died of natural causes.

Ever since their deaths, I have been a huge vibrating ball of anxiety. I am afraid that I will end up with congestive heart failure – which I know I do not have, but I constantly look for symptoms. Also, I am afraid I may have a brain tumor due to headaches and a variety of other symptoms that I have been having. And I know I also do not have a brain tumor, because I saw my neuro, had a CAT Scan and I was said to be fine. BUT!!! I cannot stop obsessing over these health issues (that I do not have). I don't sleep because of this crap, I am not myself anymore, I can't take care of my daughter properly (which I am horribly ashamed of) because I am constantly worrying over this symptom or that. Thank God my husband and mother in law are there to help me with her. I am trying really hard to be a good mommy to her, I just can't take my mind off of my issues to bond with her.

There's more to me than my disorders, but I just wanted to write a little about why I am here…to get better, and to make some friends maybe?

 

1 Comment
  1. Tara 12 years ago

    oh isnt it funny how on some level we believe that we could almost drop dead right on the spot, but at the same time know we are ok? STrange how the mind works

    I have the same things as to thinking I might have something, like you I had a "tumor" aswell (lol) due to constent head aches (almost daily some weeks) But being an observant person, i thought to myself "what is happening before I get these headaches?" so for a week I tried not to worry and every time during the week I got a head ache I would just think back as to what happened and it turned out not long after fully stressing about something I would get a head ache. Just knowing that put my mind at ease so much, hope my little story can help you out a bit

     

    🙂

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