This week was probably the worst I have ever been in a very, very long time. I had messed up my hip in wrestling and I’m out for the next few weeks because of the pain that I’m in. I kept getting yelled at for not being able to do anything since I can’t walk on my own without my crutches and it sucks because I’ve been so independent for so long that it’s hard for me to ask anyone for help. Even when I do ask for help now, I get yelled at by my “family” and “friends” because I’ve alwasy been the one helping them with the things that they go through. Along with the fact that physical therapy hurts even worse than my hip does, the pain of the betrayl I faced this week hurts even more. I didn;t eat all week at lunch since I can’t carry anything and my “friends” or “family” didn’t want to help me. People who didn’t even understand what’s been going on decided that now would be a great time to start shit up again, and of course I fell right into their slimball hands and lashed out at them. I spaent days in and out of class crying becasue of everything that was happening and only one girl who I don’t even talk to a lot was the only one who gave a shit. Then yesterday, I got a message from my friend that she tried to kill herself the night before and I was sitting in practice the entire time trying not to loose it infront of my coach and team. Finally, my “friend”who I had known since 8th grade came up to me an yelled at me for something so stupid that I couldn’t believe that she would stoop down to that level, I had had enough of her angry, controlling bullshit so I stood up for myself and in the end I was the one who walked away in tears because I was apparently being an “attention  whore” because I was hurt, and when I was trying to walk away, she kicked my crutch out from underneath me and I fell onto my bad hip, I screamed out in pain as she walked of like nothing even happened. I walked out and ran to my car just balling my eyes out at the fact she would stoop down so low that even I couldn’t see her for what she really was. Finally, a guy at a gas station decidied to pull a gun on me because I confronted him for cussing out my boyfriend and we drove off, then we discovered that he had followed us out of the lot onto the highway, luckily we were able to loose him and get home safe. I just wish I wasn’t even around all of the negativity in the world, and other times I just wished that I had died that night in bed. I just can’t handle anymore pain right now, not with all the shit that has happened to me.

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