here are a few laughs that i wanted to share.. hope you guys like what you read

A man who had come out of a complicated abdominal surgery was complaining of
having a bump on his head and a terrible headache. The nurse, fearing that
the man might be suffering from some post operative shock, spoke to the
surgeon about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "don't worry about a thing.
He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway into the operation we
ran out of anesthetic."
 

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me
with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must
be Gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me
with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a
God!
 

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large
suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they
were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they
would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to
Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and
Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest
of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to
sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad
stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key
in the car!"
 

They were watching a TV soap opera, and he became irritated by the way his
wife was taking it to heart. "How can you sit there and cry about the
made-up troubles of people you've never even met?" he demanded.

"The same way you can jump up and scream when some guy you've never met
scores a touchdown," she replied.