My new obsession keeps nagging at me, and I feel like I'm not strong enough to fight this one. I feel like I'm a human wreck, because I keep having panic attacks and can't make the difference between reality and OCD. I still feel like this obsession is true, and somehow, I'm convinced that this is OCD and reality at the same time. But I don't want this to be reality, and I'm afraid that this obsession is real and that this issue is legitimate and meaningful, hence my distress. I know OCD is a bully and lies, but I feel like even if my issue is exaggerated and that OCD is blowing it out of proportions, somehow I have reasons to freak out… so I don't know what to do. As usual I have a lot of difficulties to talk about some of my obsessions with my therapist and I'm unable to open myself. So I don't know. I'm not able to take driving lessons because I'm too anxious and I'm afraid to forget my "skills" in that department. I don't recognize myself. I'm so overwhelmed by OCD that I start forgetting important things, making big mistakes and neglecting my friendships because I can't thinking about something else than OCD. I'm scared, lost, I'm suffering like crazy and all I'm able to feel is pain. I know that all OCD are the same and that this obsession is no different than all the others I had but yet every time it feels different… and I really feel like this one is meaningful and that what it's telling me is true. I really don't know what to do… I'm tired of suffering. And because my self-esteem is really low, it's hard to hang on when my OCD is telling me I'm the worst person ever…
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In Remembrance, A Poem For Janelle
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I’ve been thinking a lot about fear recently, in particular, how fear rules my life. If I could visualise...
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I'm currently reading Jon Kabat Zinn's "Full Catastrophe Living," a book he wrote about mindfulness. In it, he outlines...
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Sitting here alone feeling defeated. I did everything wrong today and gave in to all my anxieties, depression, addiction...
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Try to tell yourself "I dont really think or feel-______, I'm having an obsession of ____." I hear you- obsessions can really feel like reality, but they are not. I have found it helpful when i tell myself this saying though, it helps to seperate myself from the illness. Hope you feel better soon.