I feel like my depression is getting bad, but I don\'t know what I\'m depressed about.
My first instinct is that maybe I\'m still upset about my friend\'s death, but it doesn\'t really hurt when I think about him anymore. I don\'t find myself thinking about him all the time. I feel much more at peace about that topic than I have in a while.
I have a lot on my plate right now: I\'m starting college in just a few short weeks, trying to get a license, trying to purchase a car. Maybe it\'s just nerves about all the upcoming events and having to wait for things to happen.
I\'m pretty concerned about the car. Purchasing more than driving.
Maybe that\'s it. Just the stress. I keep wanting to shut down. I want to sleep all the time. The past week every time I worked in the mornings, I took at least a two hour nap after work. I\'m not eating very well. I went over twenty-four hours without eating, just because I was so busy. No time. I get anxious at nighttime and when it\'s time to go to work. I get lonely, but sitting at home with someone is not enough, I want to be out running the roads with someone. But I don\'t have any errands to run.
Overall, I feel bored. Like I\'m on the brink of something exciting, and I\'m waiting, and I\'m nervous, and I\'m terrified, and my anxiety is making me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I think about my bed constantly. How much better I would feel if I were curled up in it.
I also can\'t find the correct pages for my planner. And it really did bring me to tears on my last trip to Target to search for them.