Well if I\'m gonna blog about my day then I might as well tell everything rite?? My Dad asked me to sleep over his new house despite the court order saying I can\'t have any contact with my Dad\'s Girlfriend Erin. I wanted to see my room he made for me and his house so I agreed. I lied to my mom and said that Erin would be away for the weekend. The reason I\'m not allowed to see erin is i had an anxiety attack after our horrible first meeting. my mom doesn\'t care about my anxiety but she wanted a way to punish my dad for leaving her i bet. 

I dont know how i  feel about Erin. I mean I\'ve asked my Dad if she\'s the reason he left us and he said no. Despite the fact that he introduced me to her as his girlfriend after two months of dating…. did i mention he left us two months ago that day. Hmmm….

They are now living together and are engaged. Engaged!!!! WTF and I heard it from someone else. The divorce isn\'t even finalized. And she\'s so obvious too!!! She laughs at everything I say and trust me I\'m not that funny (cause looks aren\'t everything ;P) The first time I met her they were kisssing and hugging and saying I love you… seriously!!! After two months?? Did he think I was that stupid?

He asked me to lie to my mom because he said he "missed me" so much he wanted to spend time with me. As soon as he picked me up from my moms at three he said he promised his friend(my godfather) he\'d stop by his cookout for "a few minutes". A few minutes turned into a few hours and by the time we left it was darkout. He missed me so much he spent the whole day he had with me in months at his friends cookout with his girlfriend and her kids.

Then when we got back to his house he went in his room with erin and watched a movie with her. I went into "my room" and started typing this. I\'m not sure yet If I\'m going to cut myself. probably not I avoided her most of the day but if she pulls anything tomorrow morning Im not gonna be the shy reserved polite girl anymore.

1 Comment
  1. ohumawkward 11 years ago

    Please don\'t cut. It doesn\'t help anything. If you feel like you really really need to, try doing something else.

    Some of the things I try are writing, or drawing, or using my pen to tear up things (it feels similar to cutting without actually causing any bodily harm. this is a method I used when I first stopped because I couldn\'t find any other way to get my anger out.) Watching TV, exercising (this one really helps), going for a walk, listening to music. Sometimes I just lay really still on my carpet because I like how it feels rough.

    Just please don\'t cut. I know it\'s hard. My mom dated a lot of scummy people after her and my dad split. One did a stint in jail and got her addicted to cocaine. But you have to be stronger than your situation. I know you can.

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