i am so tired of everything being my fault. and me messing everything up. its like nobody aprriciates everything i do for them, and i mean i do everything for them, “plug in my phone.” “get me a drink” “make my dinner.” “bring me food.” nobody is capible of doing anything besides me but even then what i do is never good enough. everyone gets so upset when i mess up or i forget to do something or i get upset because im the only one doing it and they dont care. they dont care about me, sometimes it just feels like all i am to them is someone to clean and cook for them.my parents say they love me you know, but if they did dont you think theyd notice everything thats going on with me? they never noticed when i was anorexic, never notice when i became a vegitarian. of corse not im the one who makes all the food. they never notice when im depressed or that i cut or i cry myself to sleep. lately its like im crying everyday now.i dont know how to stop it. it just pours out of me and i lose control. but then i get called to do something else for them and i come out after crying and they dont notice? the tears in my eyes or my puffy red face or my trembling voice? how do they not notice? or do they not care? either way i cant keep living like this. its unhealthy. but i dont know what to do anymore. i have no one i can really talk to and if i tell someone they will get dissappointed. i dont know why i care if i let them down but i do. i feel like i do already, probably because they have unreasonably high stards of me and expect me to be perfect. but im not. im far from perfect.i feel like im a dissapointment to everyone. inculding myself. i just dont know what to do anymore.somethings gotta change but i dont know how. what can i do to fix whats been broken for so long?

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