I posted this on my MySpace blog last July:

As you may have read in some of my earlier blogs, I suffer from depression. I have been for about half my life now. As of October 2004 I’ve been seeing a Christian counselor/therapist regularly (about once every week to once every other week). As of September 2005 I’ve been taking Lexapro (Escitalopram, a Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitor or SSRI, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lexapro, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_serotonin_reuptake_inhibitor).

While the counseling and medication has helped, I still get bouts of depression that last a few days, like right now. Now, I’m *not* considering suicide, but I am asking “Why?” about every detail my life. Why do I do what I do every day, every week, including even going to work for the company I work with? And why don’t I do all those things I should do or want to do? Am I wasting my life away? In twenty, thirty, forty years from now will I regret what I am doing now? Will I even live another twenty, thirty, forty years or will my health go so downhill my parents will outlive me?

Just today I wrote this song parody that expresses my feelings of depression.

Suddenly

To the tune of the song with the same title
By Billy Ocean
(Original lyrics: http://artists.letssingit.com/billy-ocean-lyrics-suddenly-8cp2287)

I used to think that life was like a fairy tale
Until that first insult until that first failure
Now if I could do it all again I would change everything
‘Cause my misery is everlasting

Suddenly life has no meaning to me
I’ve lost interest in the things that I really used to love
You wake up suddenly you’re depressed

God, My life is hell on earth and more
One thousand words are not enough to say what I feel inside
Crying in bed as the day goes by
Never felt like this before. What am I living for?

Each day I fear this misery would last forever

I’ve lost interest in the things I used to love
You wake up suddenly you’re depressed

Joel