There'sa place that I know

It's not pretty thereif youhave ever gone

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay, even if it hurts?

Even if I try to push you out, will you return?

And remind me who I really am…

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me? Can you love mine?

Nobody's picture perfect

But we're worth it, you know that we're worth it

Will you love me… even with my dark side?

Like a diamond from black dust

It's hard to know what can become if you give up

So don't give up on me

Please remind me who I really am…

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me? Can you love mine?

Nobody's picture perfect

But we're worth it, you know that we're worth it

Will you love me, even with my dark side?

Don't run away, don't run away

Just tell me that you will stay

Promise me you will stay

Don't run away, don't run away

Just tell me that you will stay

Promise you will stay

Don't run away, don't run away

Don't run away…

Promise you'll stay.

~Kelly Clarkson; "Dark Side"

I posted this because lately this song has been resonating with me when I hear it, and I find myself singing it. I guess with my illness my greatest fear is being abandoned because someone can't handle it and to them I become the ILLNESS, not Keya with an illness. How many of you have experienced losing friends over your diagnosis or problems with depression, OCD, Bipolar Disorder or other similar illnesses? Sadly, I've lost quite a few…they've distanced themselves until they either no longer exist for me or I almost never talk to them or see them. It's really hurtful and disappointing.

But on the other side of it, I realize there is a good part to it. It allows us to make more room for people who understand, can empathize, can help us through the hard times and lift us up, and laugh about all the madness that these illnesses cause in our lives. And it's these type of people we need, not the ones that run away.

I've come to the conclusion that if they run, I'll try to track them down once and sit down and discuss it with them, but after that~ it's up to them. I'm not going to waste my life trying to convince someone that I'm still ME even though I have bipolar disorder. The truth is, I've had bipolar disorder most of my life, just not a label for it. Funny how it didn't matter then, but does now.

Anyhow, just some random thoughts. Has anyone close to you disappeared from your life because of your "illness"? Have you lost someone you loved dearly because of their fears of the unknown or feelings of being overwhelmed? I'm curious how many others have gone through this too…

2 Comments
  1. MoonWolfEagle 8 years ago

    i can love you and not run away i am your friend and i am here to stay i read all you write and can almost know what you would say so keya sweet dear keya you can count on me always and forever no matter what lots of love to you my friend now and beyound our lifes end big hug

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  2. MoonWolfEagle 8 years ago

    btw i have lost people a handful on here even it hurts still but i am not who i was then change for me came swift and was inevitable we either go or grow hun your a fantastic person love sharing with you so yeah those that left made room for new solid people brightest of blessings to you when all else fails i pray and meditate send them pink light of love it works

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