I have just returned from a night out with my father (Mr. Nastalgic). We have gone to this bar/restaurant twice this week. He doesn’t remember that it was last wednesday we were last there because he has some serious dementia starting to set in. For someone who likes to look back as he does, it’s depressing to see him losing his memory.
Dad and I took a drive after dinner too the small town where I grew up as a kid. That was hard for me because I have not kept up with any of my old classmates or boyhood friends for decades. I have chosen over the years to forget about my past friends. This is due to my being depressed and the shame that I carry over my illness. My Dad, really seems to enjoy looking back but for me it was painful in a way.
What is nice about these dinners is that I get too spend one on one time with my Father. Since Mom died this last Mothers day, I can tell he has gotten more lonely for company. I do what I can too spend time with him as much as possible. He loves my dog Hillary and I always bring her with me when I stop by for a visit.
I’m still feeling depressed from the ride through my childhood home town. Looking back is really difficult for me too do.
I am headed over to ACIM Gather on Paltalk after I submit this blog and check my messages. I spoke on the microphone last night but was feeling a lot of fear and anxiety while doing it. I feel like I turn everyone off each time I pick up the mic, because I get so nervous, and can’t think straight. But I have to keep trying in order to get over the nervousness.
Enough blah blah blah for now…Sending love to everyone on DTribe!!!
Peace, Love, and Joy too all,