I realized today how asqued my thinking has been and how consumed by my illness Ive become when I started doing taxes. I barely get enough to get by and figured I made about 22000 last year after all is said and done, I had to move to an apartment and have people asking me for favors sucking my lifes blood out of me mostly things like jump start my car, advil, sugar, cigarettes, advice…u name it, the ironic thing is I am so detatched that I dont stop to realize shit I dont even know these people….like where do they gwet off asking me for things when all I have is so little yet they will still take u for what your worth. I just dont get it, these are healthy people who work yet still have so many hangups, take without thinking twice and deplete others resources before there own…its amazing, it may be because Im in a small town that has so many problems yet I am so detatched I dont even realize the hustle going on around me…..I hope I havent gone insane yet I do see so much BS here its not even funny, when I lived in a beach town people stayed to themselves where here people seem to navigate towards those who they can get something from….I dont know maybe I set myself up but all I know is it sure feels like a trap. Lots of uneducated rednecks, no offense but I have never been in a place with so many destitute people who havent accepted defeat and try and hustle what they can thinking its the way things are done. I would think they should just accept they are screwed up and get over it and stop trying to take from others…..Ive seen it time and time again, there are times i cant even leave the window open because some random will walk up pressing their nose to the glass to see if any one is home…thats chaos….especialy after what I have been through Im suprised I havent gone postal in this rat hole…….