So I left the house today. I told mum I was going to class. I had no intention on going.

I went into town, brought 3 books in the Dexter series. Turns out there is 4 book in the series not three, so I now have the full set.

I went out to a shopping centre in another suburb, got something to eat, then made my way back into town. I felt very light headed at one point and I had to lean against a wall of a building to keep myself upright. A police officer seen me, asked me if i was ok. i told him i’d be fine. And that was that.

I got on a bus, i was going to to straight home. Instead I got of early, went to the liquor store. I was debating about going the entire time I was in town and on the bus. Should I/ shouldn’t I just went over and over in my head. But stupid me gove into the great tempation that is alcohol. I’m so weak when it comes to alcohol.

Turns out I was meant to have an appt with the salvation army on Friday. I didn’t go. I wasn’t in class either. Fortunatly my case worker wrote down that it was a "legitimate reason" that I didn’t attend. I didn’t tell her that I wasn’t in class.

I know that if Centrelink find out how many classes I have missed i’m going to owe them money. Right now, I really couldn’t care. I don’t care about anything right now. The future is something I can’t even think about.

So I have been sipping on my vodka all evening. What is even more stupid, I have actually been doing it while my sister and mum are awake and in the house. This is somethng new for me now. I don’t care.  My head is pretty empty right now. Thats probably just the alcohol. mind you I have an empty head alot ofthe time. Or just talk nothingness. But more fool you for reading my jibberish.