Living with kids is always challenging. Living with these 2 of our kids is a complex cluster-mess.

My 25 year old, assigned female at birth (afab) non-binary child had undiagnosed issues that we deal with as best as we can. We’re doing all we can to see if they’ll qualify for medical insurance. They have ADD, anxiety n depression for sure.

our 17 year old afab, transgender man is more challenging, with ADD, ODD, anxiety, n out of control depression.

I believe he also has BPD, undiagnosed. He tried to kill himself in 2019. Ive had him in counseling since they were 8 or 9, up until 2020. We’ve tried just about every antidepressant on the market, a couple anti- anxiety meds, etc. He has given up n says pills don’t help so he’s finished taking them. Has stopped counseling as he declares his last counselor was a trans-phobe.

we have an appointment this week with a new, trans-sensitive counselor. He says he ain’t going, but if I have to drag him, he’s gonna keep this appointment. We need to do something. the way things stand is NOT working.

my kid sits in their bedroom all day n all night. ( they share a bedroom) he comes out to use bathroom. Dad bring them dinner, etc in their room. My 26 year old goes to work m-f 8-5 so they’re out in the world often. but he just sits there. No exercise, no interactions, no nothing except internet n video games. Not a healthy place.

They both have decided that their childhood was terrible, that me n my husband “abused “ them, that we traumatized them by attending church (only till the youngest was TWO!!)  n that every problem they face today is our fault.

They remember things that simply are not true. None of the other kids (who all grew up together) remember things like they do… we were ALL THERE, n it didn’t go down like that. Of course we had our problems, I yelled quite a bit (I’m a loud person by nature) We are all loud, passionate, opinionated people. I had untreated depression for 3 years, n all I could do was lay in bed, waiting to die. After I got treatment, then I worked nights, so I did sleep most days. We had a wall cave in, in our newly built 4000 sq ft house, in the basement. We secured the house up but were homeless for 3 weeks. But abuse?? Never.

My 17 yo even accused my husband of sexually touching him in 2019.  (he didn’t want dad to move back in after our only separation in early 2019) My husband went to state police immediately n asked for a lie detector test, which he passed with “flying colors”. The cops recommended that he press charges against the kid for false accusations,  but we never wanna see any of our kids institutionalized

I’m at a loss.. where is all this coming from?? This anger, n blame, n hateful behavior?? We did our best with what we had to always protect n nurture all 5 kids. But these 2 are SO rage filled n out of control, I’m just at a loss.