I feel like life is just really rough right now and I feel like I can't hold myself together lately. Meltdowns are happening a lot and school is difficult, which is only making me more stressed. And I just got an email from my academic advisor about her concern after we just had a positive meeting, two of my profs emailed her after our meeting expressing concerns. She was so disappointed in hearing that I have had trouble going to class. Where as I am trying to go to class and I caught up with all my work (i have been out sick due to being pregnant and having a lot of issues). It's just frustrating I guess. And the reason I don't go to my classes sometimes is because I just break down entirely. I am too afraid to admit that to her and I am also afraid that if I admit that to her she's going to see me as pathetic and crazy OR tell me to drop out, withdrawal from school. But I can't do that. I just can't. I have to finish off the semester, which is only 4 more weeks. I feel like i am falling aprat. I break down almost every morning and I can't function because it's jsut a spiral of darkness. And with all the pains and sickness, I swear it's not normal. Yet, I went to the hospital and they were dumb and treated me like an idiot. I just am fed up. While everyone says are you feeling hte baaby kick and its the normal time to feel the baby kick, im not. All I am feeling is upsetness, saddness, misery, and pain. I just don't see the point in anything anymore. I am exhausted and I feel miserable and can not for the life of me stop crying. I want to quit life so badly and everything. I am so upset and I am sick of school. I am sick of living to everyone's expectations. And when I tell the truth, they arre just upset and don't want to hear it.

3 Comments
  1. elf 9 years ago

    ZoeyGirl, 

    I am sorry that you are having such a rough time. The hormones of pregnancy can really take its toll on a mother. Then you add in the depression and anxiety you already experience, and it's no wonder you are breaking down.

    My advice would be to share your situation with your advisor. She cannot trully help you unless she knows the whole story. It is better for her to know about the depression and crying spells than for her think you are just too lazy to go to class. Find some way to go back to class. Like you said it is only four more weeks. Just make it through this and then you will have this semester under your belt.

    When you went to the hospital, did they address your crying spells and breaking down? When I was pregnant I refused to take any meds. But if it is as bad as you say, I think I would consider it. Not being able to function almost every morning is serious. You need to seek the help of a psychiatrist or a therapist. I am sorry they treated you poorly at the hospital. It is frustrating to seek help and not get the help you need. Keep trying becasue there are good and caring health care workers out there; you just have to find them.

    Good luck on finishing the semester!

    Elf

    |
    0 kudos
  2. TessErin 9 years ago

    Zoey,
    While I have been in school as you are I haven't juggled that with being pregnant. Considering you only have a month left, I strongly suggest gritting your teeth and fighting to the end. I left college in my third semester due to stress. I really wish I had at least stuck it out until the semester was over. Try and talk with a counselor. Personally, I don't reccommend the ones through the school (when I had a cousin with terminal cancer and talked with the counselors, they tried to get me to drop. Luckily I listened to my parents and stuck it out). But try and find a therapist NOT associated with the school. I think the bigger the school, the better the counselors may be. I could be wrong but I hope for your sake I am right. Think of the little one in your tummy. He/she would be more proud that you "crossed the finish line" rather than giving up. I know having to be strong is hard but I have been told to set aside a time to cry and have a mini pity party BUT don't let it be too long. Just enough to purge the emotions.
    I'm rooting for you girl!!
     

    |
    0 kudos
  3. ZoeyGirl 9 years ago

    Thank you both. It's really helpful to hear your comments and advice. I will take what you've said and give it a try, all of your advice. Thank you…

    |
    0 kudos

Leave a reply

© 2022 WebTribes Inc. | find your tribe

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account