I need to stop worrying about what I write and just let it flow. When I read my first pathetic attempt to blog, I almost deleted it. I probably did actually. There was a time when I had a real life that I enjoyed. I was married for almost 20 years and can honestly say that it was the happiest time of my life. Well, for the longest block of time.

My parents were country gospel bluegrass musicians and were almost famous. Mama was a sharecropper's daughter from South Georgia with a dream. She wanted to get off the farm and never pick cotton, tobacco or velvet beans again. She had a great imagination and wrote amazing stories. She taught herself to play guitar and sing. Her older sisters moved to Florida and eventually the entire family. Mama landed a gig as the "token girl singer"with a countryband as "Miss Rita." It didn't happen that fast but I'm trying to hit the highlights here.

Daddy was from North Georgia and from what I hear, he started drinking shine when he was 12 years old. He worked for his Uncles in their grocery store and learned to be a butcher.Hedid a hitch in the Army when he was too young to join without my Grandfather's permission. It was that or jail the way Iheard it.

SeemsDaddy was driving and had acoupleof friends with him. They were all drunk and told Daddy to put the peddle to the floor. He did and had a head on collision with a Navy officer and his wife. One of Daddy's best friends and the Navy man's wife were killed.He didn't press charges but there was the matter of a fine. Since Daddy worked for his Uncles in their store cutting meat, they paid thefine but Daddy had to pay them back. So he went intothe Army.I think the fine was fifty dollars but back then, that was a fortune.

Shortly before WWII, he joined the Coast Guard. He met Mama at the VFW in Jacksonville, Florida. As the story goes, she was on stage singing and when Daddy saw her, it was love at first sight. He told his buddy that she was the woman he would marry. Mama would not go out with him because she'd already dated guys that expected her to give up music.

Daddy taught himself to play mandolin to get her attention. They got married and started singing and writing songs together. They were married almost 12 years before I was born.

Most of my early life was spentin a car.Daddy was market manager for A&Pso we moved from South Carolina to Georgia to Florida and back again whenever he got transferred. They made records and were onradio. That led to a gospelTV variety show,more gigs, etc. I learned at a very young age that the red light meant recording and to be quiet.

My brother is five years younger than I am and we've always been close. To say we grew up in confliction would be putting it mildly.Daddy could be the nicest most generous man and the world at times. Other times, he was a complete asshole. The man was an amazing enigma. He had charisma and knew how to use it.

Mama never seemed satisfied with our geographical location. We had what was perceived to be a good life and for the most part, it was great. Except for the times Daddy lost control and showed his ass. He verbally, emotionally and physically abused Mama.

When I started this blog, I only meant to hit the highlights of my family background. That isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Basically, my brother and I grew up in confliction because Mama did her damndest to turn us into "good Southern Baptists" wh

We all ended up in Florida eventually because all good things come to an end. Daddy crashed bigtimetowardthe end of 1969.He locked himself in his grocery store for three days and did nothing but drink. I need to mention that the store wasn't really all his. Daddy had a financial backer for the business and leased the building.

Daddy was the first person I ever saw in DT's. It's not a pretty sight.Mama had to call Daddy's "silent partner" and backer to unlock the door. Her name was also on the store but Daddy never gave her a key. He was pretty much a control freak so when he lost control, it got really bad. Really fast.

Mama's name wasn't on the checking or savings accounts. She didn't even have signing authority to sign on the business account. Her name was on the store but she was pretty much screwed because Daddy was locked in a VA hospital with no contact for thirty days observation. She could call his doctor but that didn't take care of the immediate. At least the store had food. We wouldn't starve. She had to call on the silent partner to sign checks so she could pay bills.

We lived in a really nice house on over two acres. I had horses. We had friends. I was a teenager and my friends were usually of the "lunatic fringe" hippie types. My family wouldn't pass muster to the so-called normal people. Most of my friends were into art and music.

My brother was a bit of a nerd. He studied violin with the youth symphony, embraced Darwin, Star Trek and space, the final frontier. Oh yeah, he is an artist with a camera. Still or motion, he is amazing. Neither of us had a clue we'd have to give up almost everything and life as we knew it away. It sucked.

All good things much come to an end or as George Harrison said so well, all things must pass. After all, aren't we all just bricks in the wall?

So we survived many more moves on the chess board of life. I call this blog "The Love You Take" because the Beatles were right. Love really is ALL YOU NEED.

Namaste,