Neurotic Selections from
The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
by Mignon McLaughlin

No good neurotic finds it difficult to be both opinionated and indecisive.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The neurotic has perfect vision in one eye, but he cannot remember which.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The real is very real to him, the unreal even more so.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

As we are human, we can't do what we can't do; as we're neurotic, we can't do what we can.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The neurotic doesn't know how to cope with his emotional bills; some he keeps paying over and over, others he never pays at all.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

I'm afraid to win, and afraid to lose; I hate a draw and can't stop competing; otherwise I'm fine.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Others settle for small rewards; the neurotic must always go for broke.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The neurotic longs to touch bottom, so at least he won't have that to worry about anymore.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The neurotic circles ceaselessly above a fogged-in airport.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The neurotic thinks himself both Hamlet and Claudius, in a world that belongs to Polonius.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The neurotic is always half-drowning in anxiety, and always being half-rescued.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Neurosis is no worse than a bad cold; you ache all over, and it's made you a mess, but you won't die from it.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Neurotics would like to sleep all the time, and to be awakened only when there is good news.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

At the beginning of a love affair, not even the neurotic is neurotic.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

There are three iron links in the neurotic's chain:  unloving, unlovable, unloved.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The neurotic listens to weather reports about Small Craft Warnings, and he thinks:  They're talking about me.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Naturally, the neurotic wants you to love him twice as much, for he's going to cut it in half anyway.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The neurotic feels as though trapped in a gas-filled room where at any moment someone, probably himself, will strike a match.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Neurotics dream of a good life, or a great suicide note.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Neurotics always feel as though they were going way up or way down, which is odd in people going sideways.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The neurotic usually obeys his own Golden Rule:  Hate thy neighbor as thyself.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Being neurotic is like shooting fish in a barrel, and missing them.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Neurotic:  someone who can go from the bottom to the top, and back again, without ever once touching the middle.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Neurotics are sure that no one understands them, and they wouldn't have it any other way.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The way the neurotic sees it:  bars on his door mean that he's locked in; bars on your door mean that he's locked out.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The neurotic keeps minute track of his enemies; it is only his friends he is careless about.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The neurotic always wishes people would let him alone – until they do.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Neurotics make poor patriots; if you're ashamed of something as big as yourself, it's hard to be proud of something as small as your country.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

A doctor recently described to me "benign positional vertigo": it means you get dizzy in certain positions, but you can get over it without necessarily changing the position.  Change "vertigo" to "anxiety," and you've summed up the neurotic's plight.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Neurotics are always looking for something new to overdo.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Of all second-class citizens, neurotics are the only ones who are so by choice.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Neurotics are anxiety prone, accident prone, and often just prone.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The neurotic believes that life has meaning, but that his life hasn't.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The neurotic lies awake at night, composing letters to those he hates.  He seldom thinks of dropping a line to those he loves.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Neurotics think of the past with resentment, and the future with dread; the present just doesn't exist.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Neurotics expect you to remember all the things that they tell you, and many that they don't.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

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