So yesterday I made my first post to the forums.  Today I am using the blog and hitting a few back.  I like it here in the tribe so far. 

I had a terrible fear with a couple mice in my basement that my kids, wife, or I would get hantavirus from them.  (Hantavirus is a very deadly but very rare disease that mice carry – only 6 people in my state have gotten it in the last 15 years and the death rate is about 40%)  So today after work I looked all around the foundation of my house to find their entry way.  I realized they were coming in under my deck.  I pulled up a deck board close to my house and found an opening under the structure where they were nesting and getting in.  I was in panic.  Couldn't move.  The only way I could get through it was by telling myself that if I get the virus and die at least my kids will be safe because the mice wont be able to get in the house if I'm not here to protect them and they will be ok.  I battled through and brushed away some mice nest dirt and loaded the openings with cement caulk.  I left the board off  so the sun and rain could hit it for a while.  I came in my garage in total fear, stripped my clothes off, Purelled the hell out of my hands and even poured rubbing alcohol on the entryway floor and stepped in it to kill anything on the bottom of my feet.  I showered and scrubbed so much again and again and now I am just trying to breath and relax.  Of course I find another problem – I wore gloves and a mask but forgot goggles so in my mind I could get the airborne virus through my eyes.  OCD sucks. 

The thing I cant figure out in my head is that I know it is almost impossible to get this disease but it is so real to me!  I don't know how everyone doesn't worry about it.  Please someone tell me you feel the same way, have similar fears,  and I am not crazy…

Looking for Peace,

Thinkaholic

2 Comments
  1. rainingoctober 13 years ago

    I HATE mice! We once had one in an apartment we lived in and I swear just KNOWING it was in MY house, UNINVITED was the creepiest thing ever. I shudder even know when I think about it. I definitely have fears that I KNOW are irrational, but that’s the horror of OCD – we are trapped in our own mind, prisioners because we KNOW our thoughts aren’t really "real" but we are feeling REAL feelings, so it’s all messed up!!

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  2. taz45_2007 13 years ago

    When I was a kid growin up" we had cock roaches and rats  exc..

    But you did get the nest. I suffer from the contamination thingy too and its

    a tough one to shake , but keep tryin to think more positive its ok that you forgot the goggles your not going to get contaminated through your eyes lol

    The other stuff will wear off with you also as its done with me!! so you wont need to go through such extremes! We all need to pull together and try and focus on what is really real a lttle at a time by stopping and antilizing the real issue.. this is what I try do  and it seems to help..

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