So yesterday I made my first post to the forums. Today I am using the blog and hitting a few back. I like it here in the tribe so far.
I had a terrible fear with a couple mice in my basement that my kids, wife, or I would get hantavirus from them. (Hantavirus is a very deadly but very rare disease that mice carry – only 6 people in my state have gotten it in the last 15 years and the death rate is about 40%) So today after work I looked all around the foundation of my house to find their entry way. I realized they were coming in under my deck. I pulled up a deck board close to my house and found an opening under the structure where they were nesting and getting in. I was in panic. Couldn't move. The only way I could get through it was by telling myself that if I get the virus and die at least my kids will be safe because the mice wont be able to get in the house if I'm not here to protect them and they will be ok. I battled through and brushed away some mice nest dirt and loaded the openings with cement caulk. I left the board off so the sun and rain could hit it for a while. I came in my garage in total fear, stripped my clothes off, Purelled the hell out of my hands and even poured rubbing alcohol on the entryway floor and stepped in it to kill anything on the bottom of my feet. I showered and scrubbed so much again and again and now I am just trying to breath and relax. Of course I find another problem – I wore gloves and a mask but forgot goggles so in my mind I could get the airborne virus through my eyes. OCD sucks.
The thing I cant figure out in my head is that I know it is almost impossible to get this disease but it is so real to me! I don't know how everyone doesn't worry about it. Please someone tell me you feel the same way, have similar fears, and I am not crazy…
Looking for Peace,