I am increasingly aware that there is a part of my being that is not physical.
It is not my senses, I know those.
It is not my memory – for I do not remember it, only that I have been aware of it.
It is not my reasoning, it does not reason, does not drive my mind, or ponder itself.
It is not my emotions, it does not need, want, desire, fear, or search.
It is always aware, even when my senses are not.
It has always been there, for how long I do not know.
I can only guess how long it will be.
When my mind and emotions are quiet, when my memories cease their constant interpretation of all that my senses bring in, I can observe it. It seems as if it is lazily drumming its fingers, just watching, being, but not judging, waiting, or expecting.
If I am lucky, my memory might record some sense of it, but never the experience itself, because, after all, it is not of my senses, reasoning, or emotions.
My memories of it are always clouded by my own logic and feelings trying to interpret it, thus its subtlety prevents my grasping it, and I can understand how easily its hides in the quite spaces of my being.
It is me, but it is also everything.
If I can be aware of it, through it I can experience any one, thing, place, or time, and so it is not strictly me, as I am limited.
I know that others are aware of it, but many are not. Many deny it exists. It think it is good to be aware, but ok not to, or even to deny it.
I wonder if it is what some call "soul" or "chi" or "god" … I don't know, but I feel certain that doesn't matter.
As the years go by my awareness of it grows, and that has changed who I am, and will continue to. I wonder if I will eventually be aware of it all the time.