So i was thinking about collage and stuff. At the moment i have two collage choices one is not too expencive but it takes alot to get into the nursing program because since is not that expencive there is a whaiting line. The other one is way too expensive and there might be a whaiting line but is easier to get in the program. So im thinking either go to the not expensive one but i still need to take a test which i have fail couple of times. Anyways if i go next aemeater i will spent over 4 thiusand dollars but i will still not be in the program. I will just go to take prerequisites amd i feel that being there i might focus more on the test. I will be spending money for prerequisites. I feel like this way is kind of pointless. The other is to go to the expensive one and start the prenursing program and than nursing. Anyways the second choice was the plan a year ago and before my anxiety went so bad. I feel like is i make the same plan whichever i choose might give me severe anxiety again. I guess my fear is that after that semester in the non expensive collage i wont have a job and i was thinking about it all the time and i guess that is what made me so sick. Also i kept thinking that my anxiety wont let me stay long in college and that if i decided to quit that i wont have a job to go back to. The irony came when i had yo quit the job due to my severe anxiery. I ended with out a job anyways :). I know now that people know me there and i will always have a job if i wanted it and i feel like the same goes with the job i currently have and besides i can always find another job. I know i can. As i think about going to colleage again i fear that i might not make it that my anxiety will get bad and when i go back home i wont have a job anywhere. That is killing me. Plus i fear that i might get collage nervousness and i might quit it. The thing is that i probably need yo get out of the house and meet people that might help alot. A other thing that bothers me is how in the world am i goin to pay the loans back??? Soi found that if i work while i go to the expensive college they reduce ethe amount i have to pay every semester. Than there is a program where the goverment sends them to places where they are needed and than that is how the goverment forgives the loan. Than there Is another way oncea nurse with a job i can pay monthly payments since Plan is to come back home and take care of parents and they have everything paid for the house and everything 🙂 which means more money left. Anyways collage one seems to be a waist of time collage two is better i mught get to meet people and my sister is ther. The thing is to try it that might be what i need. I have alot of time to think bad thoughts here at homewhich lead me to more aanxiety. Out there i might get distracted. What do u think i should do????? Help

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