Well I've been back home now since friday and am feeling ok about it. Ok as i can be, I'm still very sscared about a few things.

In my last blog I posted about the whole episode with the restaurant and what happened there, well it still hasen't been resolved. I tryed to call my friends Mum to see what happened about the money in the end and she isn't answering my calls… So at some point today I'm going to call another friend In Brighton and ask if he could talk to her as this needs to be sorted out.

I also just need to get it out of my mind. Right now if I'm not worrying about that then I'm feeling low from getting dumped last tuesday, and if I'm not worrying about that then I'm worrying about anxiousness and how I'm going to start getting back on my feet back at home here.

I went on a walk this morning with my Mum and had a chat with her about things. I find sometimes that talking with my Mum stresses me out more… But I also know that I need to get it out. I also mentioned the fairly alrge financial troubles that I am in, which I was worried about saying. She was dissapointed and a little annoyed but is going to help me.

Tomorrow we're going to book some appointments with a counsillor that I had last time I went through a major anxiety episode; I'm actually really looking forward to it as there is a lot that I want to get out that I've been too worried to talk about with my mother. I also find that counsillors have a way of making me feel sane again and straightening out the thoughts in my head that have become a tangled mess…

On a positive side, yesterday I went out briefly and did meet up with my best friend here for a couple of hours. I pretty much told him everything that's been going on with me and he was very understanding and supportive; so it was good to make "first contact" as it where!

I'm seeing my Dad today, who's driving up to visit; I'm going to tell him about the whole business with the restaurant which I'm not looking forward too, but at least it will get it off my chest. I try to stay as honest as I can with my parents as it just makes things easier.

So to summarise, things are still very very hard.. But I will get through it.


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