Please excuse my long abuses. Once again my husband just had to put his hands on my things and he broke the charger to my computer. I've just brought a new one but days after he cracks the face of my phone. For whatever reason everything I have he has to touch or use. Instead of buying his own or using his own he has to use my things and when he does he doesn't take care of my thngs and end up losing it, cracking it, breaking it or just destroying it. It's so fucking frustrating. He has broken three charges to my computer, lost 8 mp3 players and cracked or destroyed 4 phones its unreal. Why touch or use my things with his history of not taking care of them. Then on top of that he doesn't want to replace anything because it was a accident and he did mean to do it so I should replace my things that I don't break, crack, lose, or destroy.
Anyway that really wasn't the point I wanted to talk about. I want to talk about continuously dreaming about be locked away in a mental institution. It's never really the same but the dream always comes when I feel I'm stuck in my marriage and there is no way out. It's sicken me something serious. Because I seriously want out I have for years and I cant seem to find the way out. He has taken my personal belongs when I've told him I'm leaving, he controls all the money even the money I make he asks me a thousand times what am I doing with in and to buy unneccesary things. The money he makes he does whatever he wants to do with it (gambling) and I never ask him about it and he never says anything to me about it. But it get $100 and its what you're going to do with it, what are you going to buy, buy this buy that until he thinks the money is gone. I just want out there is so many little ass dumb issues that has grown into bullshit and he refuses to talk to me like I'm his equal or even an adult everything that comes out his mouth is demeaning and talking down to me like I have no right to have an issue or problem about anything and I need to shut up and cook, clean, find his clothes, buy his clothes, dress him in his clothes, deal with his dysfunctional as family and at the end of the day fuck him and love it all.
Bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU HAVE NO CLUE AS TO HOW MUCH THIS SOUNDS LIKE MY LIFE!
I finally left my soon to be ex-husband this past December. All those feelings you are feeling….I have felt. I was living in a "MENTAL INSTITUTION" just living with him.
Your gonna have to PLAN in order to leave him. Hide money someway, anyway. Start sneaking things out of the house. Leave them at a friends house or a storage unit…somewhere. Have people be aware of what's going on that you can trust! It may take a bit of time, but you can do it!
You don't deserve what you are going through!! You only have one life to live and you shouldn't have to spend it that way.
I wish you the best of luck in your endevors!
PS, It's hard with the emotions after I left him but, everyday gets better and I have some of my sanity back.
Thanks for reading my blog and the advice. I'm start working on my plan ASAP.
Thanks Again