So a lot of things have frustrated me since I have moved. Most of all is my moms drinking but what really pisses me off is when she drinks and doesnt remember a dam thing she has done or if she freaks out like she did the other night and then the next day its like nothing has happened.
So the other night: we went out to meet with one of my moms friends of course at a bar and we were there from about 5-7:30 and they both got drunk but instread going home they decided they wanted to go to another bar and i was pissed and showed it we went to this place were everyone could be my parents or grandparents I didnt want to be there so I sat there with a pissed off face my mom eventually decided to go. I had no idea where I was going but I was running out of gas so I decided to get some at that point my mom decided she was going to leave because she was mad at me for not having fun at a place i didnt want to be. GOING TO BARS AND DRINKING AND DANCING IS NOT FUN TO ME!!!!!! So then I began to search for my mom in the city of atlanta. She would repeatedly call angry tell me to leave her and then telling me to find her after an hour she finally found her way back to the gas station. She then began to well yell at me that even if I dont like where i am i should still try to have fun. Well guess I have learned in therapy if you dont want to do something then you shouldnt have to and you dont have to do it. My mom doesnt think that way she always has to be out spending money that we dont have and then wondering why she is always in a mess. She finally calmed down but just yelled at me for the way i am she yelled about my hair my eye brows how i always have the same look on my face for wanting to be at home. This is why I want to be at home because we cannot afford to be going out every night. Also because I have bad social anxiety and new loud places makes my anxiety high so why the hell would I want to go there. We finally got home and she fell asleep.
I am still pissed because she always pulls stunts like that call everyone tell them how much life sucks but doesnt do anything to help her make things better. She started therapy but hasnt made another appointment yet and she really needs to. I am tired of the sob story and how life isnt fair and nothing ever goes her way. I am tired of being picked on because i dont have excitement on my face twentyfour seven. I am tired of her thinking I always want to go somewhere. I am tired of getting up early when she knows my meds make me sleepy. I am just tired of it all. I am more pissed then anything.
My mom says she hates being home I dont understand that. I just dont understand how someone can go out every night knowing we dont have money to be spending on that. If i took all are reciepts from a month I can promise most of them would have wine in some way or fashion on it.
I just dont understand.