this post is about trying to trick our selves into thinking that after a while in recovery it's okay to try to use socially. we find ourselves with a little time behind us and our brain tells us we have been clean for a while asnd we can reward ourselves by trying to just use socially. My question is DID YOU USE SOCIALLY IN YOUR ACTIVE ADDICTION? no we did not. my disease was active 24/7 365 days a year. even with a few days back to back the monkey on my back used to be KING KONG and now it's just a little spider monkey but it's still there ever reminding me that i CANNOT use socially.

For me to use today just starts the vicious INSANITY all over again. do we truly want to start the cycle of Addiction again? i know the hell i went through just getting clean. but something i heard and people i saw had something i wanted in my life. PEACE AND SERENITY. the only way to achieve those is by working the 12 steps and attending as many meetings as you can. sure everyday is not filled with sunshine and rainbows but what i have been given so freely by the program and people of Narcotics Anonymous still works in my life today. why not let it work in yours?

we have this committee inside our heads that sometimes 49% stands up and says let's do it. well i still have 51% chairmanship of the board. i tell them to sit the F@#k down and shut up. using today is not an option. being miserable today is not an option. if your life is that bad maybe you do not belong in Recovery. but that choice is yours. it's also between the God of your understanding. stop trying to think you can do this recovery thing alone. you can not. how many times do you have to hear the words You don't have to do this alone. is your pride getting in the way? is you over inflated ego telling you that you are better than the people who have gone through what your going through? well guess again many of us have been around a lot longer than most people who post here. it does not matter how long you've been around it quanity not quality. it's what you do in Recovery that matters. nothing else.

So with that i hope i have given you something to think about. i pray for all addicts today to stop and learn how to be happy by being clean. it's so simple to apply the 12 steps and 12 traditions to your everyday life. stop trying to complicate things with negative thinking. Get out of God's way and let Him work in your lives today.

A Brother in Recovery 4 Life,

JJ