They say time heals all wounds. My heart has been broken. It has been two months since this happen and I knew I wouldn't get over it quickly but I did expect it to get some better. Instead my life seems to be getting worse. I ponder on all of the would haves, could haves, and should haves on his part and mine. I try to stay busy to keep my mind off of it but every little thing in the house has a memory to it and I just can't stop crying and remembering. I thought he was as in love with me as I was with him. Two day before he left he told me he didn't know what his life would be like if he didn't have me. Now I'm scratching my head thinking "was it all a lie" I can't imagine my life without his smile. But now I'm stuck here alone. I'm sick so I can't drive. I can't work. I have no friends. What keeps me here is the love I have for my 3 children. They are stressed to see me in pain and sad that he left us too. I pray so hard for God to just give me peace. If I could find a little peace I think I could make it through this. But it seems the harder I pray the worse it gets. I know God is listening. But why does he allow so much pain. Not just in my life but in others as well. We all have our problems. I don't think I've ever felt so lost in my life. I'm trying to detach myself from him. The remainder of his things are stored in the garage his pictures are put away. I even put my stepchildren's pics away because it hurts to see them and know I can no longer be their mom. The family has decided not to talk to me so I've lost them too. I just don't know what to do. I want to scream and cry and throw things and hate God for letting this happen. BUT I CAN"T. God said he would never put more on you than you can handle………….I'm not handling this.

3 Comments
  1. prayingdove40 5 years ago

    I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU BUT HATING GOD AND BLAMING HIM WOULD BE THE WORST THING INSTEAD MAYBE GO TO CHURCH AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOODNESS AND BE PATIENT AND KEEP PRAYING 🙏 I AM SURE THINGS WILL GET BETTER SOON

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  2. onelyric 5 years ago

    Please Tara…so much pain you are feeling , so much heartache, please consider finding some help. Help to get you through all thses misfortunes. Do you go to a counselor? I would suggest maybe trying to get some help so you don't feel so overwhelmed and can have someone unbias to talk to.

    You know my friend I care so…. 

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  3. ancientgeekcrone 5 years ago

    This may sound very trite, but in mourning things can get worse before they get better. I think that's what the phrase "It's darkest before dawn" means. Just keep telling yourself that the pain will subcide and etter days will follow.

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