Hi, Guys.

I have missed you all a lot lately, as I have not been on the site and when I am it seems to be at "the wrong time"  We have had a very difficult week and I am SO tired I can’t even explain.  My daughter has stopped napping and I can’t believe how much I depended on that time to be able to "turn off" a little and get some other stuff done.  Otherwise, she is a one-girl wrecking crew!!  Ordinary events of our lives are keeping us VERY busy, and then, there is our dog.

Poor thing… he is 11 years old and to make a very long story short, he got his leg wrapped in a cable and was stuck in the snow overnight.  I knew when I found him the next morning, that he’d lose the leg.  For some reason the vets were holding out hope, and that seemed to actually grow over 4 days.  Then suddenly when I went to bring him home… it was BAD.  The leg has started to deteriorate and he didn’t tell me ’til he brought him out  that there was an odorl  I have 3 children who love this dog and my ocd has ‘limited" their interaction with him.  Sadly enough, I grew up with animals all over the place and had cats and a dog in my house up until my now 7 year old was about 2 and I think the ocd really started to escalate then.  We will take the dog to have his leg removed from the knee down, either tomorrow, or more likely, Tuesday morning.  He is happy, wagging his tail at us, and his "Fozzie ears" are going crazy when we talk to him.  He is currently inhabiting our foyer, which has linoleum and is now close off with baby gates.  The description of his foot, I"m sure, tells you what kind of state I’m in, considering my ocd is germ/contamination based.

To top it off, the guilt is simply overwhelming. I knew that a cable could be  dangerous, but it was a rotating one that shouldn’t have gotten stuck.  And, it had been VERY cold, but he was able to get into the garage and out… but it is simply my fault.  I know I need to let it go.  I know it’s not in my hands, but emotionally, the whole situation is TOTALLY exhausting.  I am so hoping that he makes it through the surgery… but being 11 is like being 77– so he is a high-risk geriatric canine.  The anesthetic could take his life.

Sorry to vent and to sound like a negligent dog-mom.  I just needed to get it all off my chest.  If anyone would, please lift up our dog, Guinness, in your prayers.

Thank you, friends…

RQ