Today is my last day of work at this job. Yay! I'm excited/happy about it. Nervous about the new job but thats a week away…I get a week off. yay! I hafta go take a drug test today but other then that thats all I hafta do before I get my new job.

Last week I had the funeral for my uncle and I went. It was closed casket but still couldn't go up to his coffin. It was to much, to sad, to real. I didn't need to stand by it to know he wasn't alive anymore. I am still unsure and uneasy about death. I think its harder to have no faith when it comes to death and the unknown then it is to believe in some after life, heaven, what have you. I have almost convinced myself because it seems easier that there must be a heaven, a place where we go. I know this sounds lame, rambly even. I just have such a hard time accepting a NOTHING afterwords. I've seen ghosts and felt the presence of one. I've seen things that cannot be explained otherwise but its still this whole relinquishing myself to accept there is some 'heaven'. I can't get my mind around it and so I can't accept without some sort of proof. I know its impossible, ther is no proof until you've died but then who knows what is real then anyhow. Blah. sorry, shutting up on this.

Mason, my new puppy is getting neuterd today. Im a lil nervous. I hate having my dogs in surgery or put under. I worry until they call me to tell me that they are awake. I know that spays and neuters are run of the mill and they do multiple ones daily but its that lil naggy voice in the back of my head that always tells me every possible scenario that could go wrong. *slaps the lil voice*

Anyways, I'm done for now.
Have a great week ……..

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