I can’t fight anymore. OCD has returned and become the problem that it always was. The intrusive thoughts are with me almost every moment of the day and I find myself once more returning to compulsions as well as speaking to myself in order to deal with them. I know they are lies in that their threats never actually happen. The problem is that the mind knows this but the heart doesn’t. There are times when I feel as if I am schizophrenic and I can’t control what goes on inside of my head.
Months ago I was able to overcome this, or so I thought, but was that only a lull in the storm? That was why I stopped using OCD Tribe since I didn’t feel that I needed it. I know the triggers but still I can’t avoid them. I am afraid to tell those close to me about this since I don’t know how they will respond. I know they would support me but this is something that I have to face and something that most would not understand.
I need to see someone who can help me. There was a time when I thought I could deal with this on my own but I can’t. The stress, anger, the fear, they surround me and I find myself losing more battles. I want to give in a times and no longer challenge the OCD but I know what that can lead to. I feel that there is someone else within me who I don’t control and I need to learn how to face this fear.
Hunny… please seek help. Find a therapist, and open up about what you’re dealing with. You deserve support. PM me any time you need to vent/chat. *hug*
hey man
i know that feeling ,,i know its disgusting feeling .. i think the ocd make like volcano hes arises and Quench from time to time .. the battle is so hard and take along time ..but beleive ,that suffering its will end cosiness and hapiness