Well, just me again I suppose, still in the land of the living.
Today has been a bitch of a day, and still feeling like I did yesterday. I have only cut once. Just a small one, nothing to worry about.
I went to work today, and was told by the manager to take next week off, as I looked "unhappy". If only he knew what was going on.
I saw my Fiance today, she’s doing great, and told me she wants to be with me, but the love may not return. This turned my mood from Ok to absolutely Sh1t. At work, for the rest of the day, I was considering ways I could end my life, but I thought of my son, and then regretted those thoughts instantly, so I went to my office, and did a small cut in my lunch hour. I felt guilty for this, but i eased a bit of my mind pain, and stopped my worry for a while.
I tried to eat lunch, took one bite of my sandwich and threw it in the bin, it didn’t taste the same as normal.
I eventually got to sleep at 4:45am(ish) and was at work for 7:30am to open the store for the rest of the staff to get in. They saw nothing of how I felt, glad I can put on a face when I want to.
I was thinking of a quote from the song I am listening to a lot today, it goes "They throw me a bone to pick me dry" I came to the decision that it means they give someone a chance, then tear them to shreds with words. I am slowly feeling the way this song is sung. (It does not affect my mood)
Hopefully tomorrow will bring better results, but if it doesn’t, I may not last just the one cut.
Until tomorrow, my friends.