So today is Novemeber the first… To most, it's just another day. Well, it is All Saint's day but that's besides the point… Anyways…. My boyfriend is moving today.. this weekend. I've been silent and sad all day just thinking about this. I know most of you think we are just some fling, I mean we are both teenagers and 'in love'. Some would say puppy love. But that doesn't make this hurt any less painful. It doesn't change anything. It still hurts. A lot. I just don't know what to do or think right about now. I haven't talked to him all day because I woke up too late this morning to see and then he works throughout the whole day. I have to stay up till 11 so that he can call and/or text me. I really just want to hear his voice. I need to… I need to hear him. I'm scared that I'm going to loss him. I know long distance relationships don't really work out well which scares me. I don't to loss him. I know it sounds childish. I mean the odds of us getting married and living happily ever after are so low it could never be a possibility. I mean, he is only my second REAL boyfriend. You're suppose to have at least a handful… right? Everyone tells me that we are never going to make it past high school (that is past me graduating… since he's already graduated). But what if we do. Then people are just going to say oh you'll only last another year or two. Then what if we make past that? When I graduate we will have been together for 4 years. So if we make it past that, what's another year.. or two.. or ten?! I know I'm just a teenagerand I don't really know about the struggles of adult life and what people have to go through with adult relationships. But maybe that's why it's so perfect. My brain isn't fully grown so I have a better open mind then most because of it. This can help me… right?

Truth be told I'm seriously just trying to think of the positive but it is rather hard. I don't want to loss him. We've been together for over two years now and it would really suck if I had to start over with someone new. We've been through so much and we are still going through a lot. I don't know what I would od if I didn't have him there to support me when no one else can… or will… I just want him to be there for me when I need him the most. I don't want anyone else. Truely and honestly.