I cut myself yesterday. For the first time in a long time. I have had many cravings over the past few months, but yesterday was the first time I did it since then. My life sucks. And the main problem with it at the minute is my mums stupid stupid STUPID boyfriend. He treats me like dirt from the bottom of his shoe. He speaks to me like im nothing. I hate it. An example being I literally 5 minutes ago tuerned on the hallway light, and the bulb blew. This made the rest of the lights turn off until he fiddled with the elctirc. It obv was a complete accdient, but he starts shouting about it. Im like what? And also the other day, he was fixing a small clock on the table, and he shoved a picture of me and my brother out of the way (I gave it to my mum has a bday prezzie framed). So I went ant put it back properly, and I didnt think so I put it in front of the clock. He literally flipped out calling me dumb and stuff bcuz I out it there! It is his tone of voice that pisses me off the most….it makes me feel like abosulte crap. My mum never sticks up for us either. If I say the tinest thing wriong to him, she makes me apologize. But when its the opp way round, no, he NEVER ever aplogizes!

So yeah, thats one of the resaons I cut myself. Another being life. It is just a pile of crap right now. I get so down about the littlest things. And again, no one seems to understand. I was having a conversation with 2 of my friends the other day..and they were talking about some persoanl stuff like problems with boys ectra. After the conversation had finisahed, one of my friends said to me 'that was nice, talking about stuff bothering us, but I klnow you didnt say much bcuz you dont have anything majour going on'. I was like WHAT? Dont you know me at all D: It really upset me.

I guess that is why I am so thankful to evryonee on DT, becasue they actually understand me. Sorreh for the typos ^^

:'(

2 Comments
  1. chunckywannabcurvy 13 years ago

    Hi, i thort that was very insensitive of your friends to make that comment.  I think the only reason they said it is because they are uncomfortable talking about your problems because they dont know how to deal with it or what to say.  But i would ignore what they said and not let it get to you, dont let cause you any more stress it sounds like you have enough to deal with.

    I think i might understand where you are coming from about your mum's bf.  It is a bit different for me as it was my dad treating me like that and acting in a very similar way.  What you must remember is that he is acting in this way because of his own problems and insecurities but that doesnt give him the right to treat you the way he is.  I understand that your mum is in a difficult position because she doesnt want to hurt you and she wants to keep things well with her partner.  However, again it doesnt excuse her behaviour either.  She probably thinks that you know he doesnt mean it, and it isnt that bad (because she isn't treated like you are) and that you know that you mean the world to her and knows that you will forgive her no matter what.  But remember that you a stronge person with rights.

    my sister and i have tried different methods to cope with the way our dad treated us, and she confronted him and had arguements -this only makes things worse and you feel angrier after.  What i think you should do is to find someone to talk you, and when he starts just try and ignore him as best you can and remove yourself from the situation! take deep breaths and if he sees he cant get to you, he should stop.

    let me know how this goes for you tho! take care xx

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  2. ancientgeekcrone 13 years ago

    This guy sounds like a potential abuser and mom sounds like a door mat.  A receipe for abuse if I ever heard of one.  If you move out, I think he'll become big time trouble for her.  He has a short fuse and when you're not there to pick on. Look Out, Mom.

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