Golly, where do I start. I should put it simply first, I guess. I’m depressed.I have tried so hard to tell myself it isn’t true but it is, everything is hard. Everything is so stressful right now.

Firstthings that’s completely stressful is, school! I have three classes at the local High School, and three on Virtual. I started late on my Virtual classes, and I have until the 25th to finish two of them. On Top of that I have and english assignment due on the 19th that I have yet to finish, I have to draw a CD cover, which isn’t hard, but, I take my time with drawing. Finally, on top of that, I have Finals coming up. English, easy, Biology, easy, Geometry, complete different Language. (These are the three I’m taking at the Local High School )It’s horrible I’m so afraid I’m going to fail Geometry, I take school very seriously, I go to my teacher’s tutoring any time she has it. It just doesn’t help. (I’m in 10th Grade)

Secondthing, Friends and Fitness. I have tried so absolutely hard to make friends at this new school. I’ve been much less shy, much more talkative. It still seems that I’ve only attracted one person, who only talks to me in 1st period. Good thing, everyone is pretty nice. I’ve been very big on fitness and getting healthier since I moved in with my Grandmother. I was eating very healthy and exercising daily, felt great. I’m still eating pretty healthy, but I’ve allowed more cheat days in. I’m also not exercising almost at all anymore because I simply have no more time. I feel a little bad, but that’s going to have to wait.

Thirdthing, my parents. I’m pretty sure my Father has caught my Mothers insanity. He’s angry, almost all the time, it’s upsetting, the way he acts. Embarrassing me in front of everybody. Getting mad at me getting rightfully mad. My mother has gotten no better, she’s just not doing anything anymore, she sits on the couch and watches TV moves occasionally to eat, and use the restroom. Smokes all the time. she uses her ‘pain’ as an excuse. Everytime my sister and I come to visit them, she starts a fight over something really stupid, then my dad sticks up for her no matter what. I’ve recently been told, after this school year ends, we have to move back into this house, withMother.Honestly, I don’t think my father is any better at this point. He said “You’re not allowed to live with Granny next year.” Like it was some kind of vacation or something, not like we’re running away from abuse or anything. He chose Mother, over his own children. He protected her faster than he ever protected us. I truly wonder if he let us live with Granny for us or for Mother.

1 Comment
  1. NotShakespeare 7 years ago

    I also have self-image issues, darling, and i know it's harder then it seems to be. Never quit improoving yourself, because who knows? It might just work 😉

    Be safe!

    |
    0 kudos

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