I've always felt like people never liked me much but i've always kept it to myself. My whole life people would tell me how beautiful and smart they think I am but nobody ever gave me a reason to believe it. In high school I noticed a pattern in the way people interacted with me. Girls would try to control me and only keep me around as their little sidekick and boys would tell people that they liked me and they thought I was pretty but would never speak to me or have anything to do with me. So when a guy actually asked me out I would say yes even though I didn't like him because I thought he was different and actually liked me not just my 'rack'. That never turned out to be true though. I don't have many friends either and in the true definition of the word 'friend' I have none. I'm never in anyone's funny facebook pictures or part of anyone's 'gang'. I'm always the friend that just isn't around during that fun night. The friends that I have now aren't my true friends they're all male and don't include me in group activities they're all trying to 'get with me'. The most painful thing is when they all come pick me up from work, drop me off at home and then I see one of them update their fb saying "The whole gang is together tonight gonna be fun". I thought I was part of their gang but apparently not and my fantasy of having friends has been shown for what it really is just more people giving me a false sense without actually caring. Tonight I finally let myself say it out loud 'I'm so lonely, I just can't cope anymore" and I just broke down the tear wouldn't stop. I always try to keep a narcissistic front so people believe they can't hurt me but somehow they still do over and over again.
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About my agoraphobia & babble
Dreaming, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Questions, 1
( I first wrote this in reply to a question on my comment page but it got so long...
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The Remnants
thebadkitty, , Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
"I am not going to hurt myself today." I woke up telling myself that, silently and with a miserable...
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I need help ASAP
Picku332, , Anxiety, Depression, 1
I’ve been dealing with a lot lately and I can’t come to my senses to run away from everything,...
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How do you know that something is REALLY wrong?
Ghostgirl, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, OCD, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, 2
I keep feeling like I'm making something out of nothing so I haven't called the Counseling Center yet. But...
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Soo father showed up…
sadjac, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Child, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, 0
When i was selecting my mood for this blog, i changed from sad, to mellow, to angry, to Don’t...
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It’s been awhile
Twiggysiren, , Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, 0
It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything here. Mostly because I don’t know what to write about. Even now...
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My life sucks sometimes.
SarahSue62, , Depression, Addiction, Anger, Career, Child, Depression, Grief, OCD, Suicide, 1
Okay, sorry I didn't actually write the blog when I first posted it. I got confused on how to...
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Depression and Disappontment
amna, , Depression, Depression, Suicide, 0
As far as i reckon , depression and disappointment goes hand in hand or if i put in better...
None of what you describe acan happen to you on here. As you talk to people, you will get a sense of who can relate to your issues and who cannot. We have a lot of young people here. Affective disorders target the young, unfortunately. There is light at the end of the tunnel; if you will stick with trying to get well.