I know that I am not right because of not taking my pills. But there are a lot of things on my mind. I have been sitting home alone all night, and I have things to do but I cant bring myself to get up and do it. I hate facing reality, its easier to watch tv and get lost in the lives of others. My least favourite part of TV is the commercial breaks because that’s when I think of my own reality. Right now it feels like my biggest mistake was moving away here. I wasn’t happy at home, but I’m not happy here. I am not happy anywhere. I miss my bestfriend Connor, a lot happened in the past and her hurt me and my boyfriend, but usually he is the one I talk to when I feel this way, and now I cant talk to him because of Jordan. I love Jordan to death, but I just don’t know why I feel so unhappy. I miss so many things that I feel like I cant get back no matter what I do. Does everyone feel like this? Why am I the one feeling like this all the time? I try to apply what I’ve learned in counseling to make things better but I feel like when I’m alone there is no stopping my obsessive thoughts. There I go again, using the words “I feel”. Feelings are not fact, that is what my counselor tells me. Even though I understand most of these things are not true and I know I am over reacting, I cannot help it. I don’t know what to do. Who should I talk to? I wish there was help for me instantly and I was happy. I need something to fill the hole I have.