Well Everyone
I am trying my hand at this. I consider myself pretty computer literate but for some reason, I am having trouble navigating around this website. But I have been having so much trouble lately accepting my OCD. (Which is a laugh since I have had it for about 40 years). I am not sure why because you would think by now that I would have learned to accept that I have this thing that totally sucks and has pretty much taken away most of the things I used to enjoy, But it seems lately that I just get so tired. And it is a tired that most people I know don't understand. They can't possibly. I am so tired of being afraid of so many things; I am tired of my crazy thoughts; I am tired of how I have to organize every little thing; My therapist told me the other day that my rituals have become so convuluted he wasn't sure how to help me. I have "safeguards" and rituals for so many different things it takes all my brainpower to keep track of them. And that is what exhausts me so much. I feel like I just don't have the energy to move. The thing is – I am also very much afraid. I am working with an ERP specialist and I feel like this is it. If he can't help me than there is nothing left. I was so motivated when I first went to see him, but now all I feel is exhaustion. I was ready for fear, to feel anxiety, and all that but now I don't know where to get the extra strength. No one really prepared me for being so tired. My family is supportive but they don't know what I mean when I try to explain this. I always felt I could do anything if I really wanted it but it is hard to keep that kind of positive attitude when you are so-o-o tired. I am hoping just getting this all out will help ease the stress and allow me to get some sleep. So thanks for listening.
I think most people here understand what you are currently experiencing. I think it was a good idea to write down your feelings as that usually helps. You are taking good steps (ERP and medication) to attack the OCD. Try to focus on taking some steps to make you feel physically better e.g. more sleep, good diet, exercise etc. so you can build up some energy to ward off your exhaustion. I know it sounds easy to say you should take some of these steps but even if you just start slow (short walk, get out in the sun) that is a good way to build up some momentum. Hang in there and we will be thinking about you. Best. Rob
-Hi! Hang in there. I know what you mean about being tired, we all do. I just get so sick of being afraid. Rob has given some great suggestions…it's going to be OK. This site should be very helpful. Have a great Friday!
Blue