and a very plain and simple service because we thought that was what Noah would have wanted. We were told the chapel would hold eighty people. One hundred and ninety eight signed the guest book. We had a blown up photo of Noah standing next to a table that held his ashes and a white bouquet of flowers with a black and silver ribbon because he was a fierce Raiders fan. The chapel administrator presided over the beginning of the service with a prayer and the reading of Psalm 116 that Noah's father requested. Then he read a piece we found on Noah's computer that he kept and must have liked a lot. It's untitled and by an unknown author. It starts out: "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime….." Noah added this ending: "Thank you for being a part of my life. May God hold you in the palm of His hand and angels watch over you".

After that Noah's friends, Chris, Bobby, Brad and his brother, Simon took over. They each said a little something and then played two songs. The first song was one his friends wrote for him and it took my breath away. The second, the boys told us, was one Noah just wrote – his first and only. Both will be in my mind and heart until the day I die. Then the boys ran a slideshow of photos they made that was absolutely wonderful and I know was created with so much love. After that I got up to say something and surprised myself by actually getting through it. My friend Anne stood by my side in case I wasn't able to finish. I'll include it at the end of this. When I was returning to my seat I looked up and saw that the chapel was filled to overflowing. The chapel administrator then closed the service, thanked everyone and invited them to Noah's home. When we got to the house we found the living room, family room, and dining room packed with people. They spilled out onto the driveway and street, the patio and backyard. Noah would have been so amazed at the multitude of people whose lives he touched. The house was so filled with love that I know it must have resonated throughout the universe.

What I said for Noah: "I like to cook for my boys when I can get them all together. After one visit with me in Las Vegas, I was driving Noah to the airport and he said, "Ma, do you know why everyone likes your food so much"? I said, "Yeah, because they like to eat"! And he said, "No, it's because you cook with a lot of love and people can taste that in your food". I could only look at him and smile, my heart was bursting.

Noah was a loving, gentle, very sensitive and fragile soul. He battled demons in himself that he hated. But these were demons we all have at times – sadness, depression, anger. We talked a little about this but not very much. Noah would never want to burden anyone with what he thought were 'his problems', especially his mother. He would never want to cause me any undue worry. I thought that he would conquer these demons, as we all must, but I was wrong. The depth of his pain and the frailty of his nature were more than I could fathom. In a weakened moment he lost his battle and we lost a most amazing young man.

Those of you who knew him – thank you for loving my son.

1 Comment
  1. amparosteen 11 years ago

    Thank you, Steven.

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